Friday, January 28, 2011

2 posts, 1 day.

Aren't you lucky? 2 times the blarging today! Woot!

I basically decided to write something because Kristin got swiped from me for the evening and as a result, I am bored. (I have a migraine and it's really just annoying. I've had about enough. Stupid headache gnomes...)

I did what I could to keep boredom at bay. I took a really hot shower and sang along to several of my favorite tunes. (On tonight's playlist, "Sick Muse" by Metric, "The Story" by Brandi Carlile and "Don't Let Him Steal Your Heart Away" by Phil Collins. Seriously, Phil. Shorter song titles. Get them.)

I made this:

Yeah... Do they have rehab for Microsoft Paint addicts?

I'm trying to watch "Law & Order UK", but despite all the awesome accents and Jamie Bamber's hottness, it's still REEEAAALLLYYY boring.

So that brings me back to my blarg. I'm clean, I have no voice left, I've exhausted my Paint abilities, and I'm bored watching BBC America.


It was probably the weirdest dream I'd ever had. And I've had some doozies! (You may recall them...,


I had a dream that my Dad wasn't my dad. And not only was my Dad not my dad, I found out that my real dad was someone famous. This obviously left me reeling. My parents were married in '80, and I was born in '85... or was THAT a lie TOO? No, it wasn't a lie. Did Dad know he wasn't my dad? Yes. The family? Did they know? Yes. So I was the only one who DIDN'T know? Yes.

So who was my Dad? Ronnie Wood.

WHAAAAAT THE HAAAAAIL?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I was sooooo mad. I wasn't mad because I had been lied to about my parentage my whole life, I was mad because my MOM cheated on my DAD...with RONNIE WOOD?!?!?!?

(If you don't know who Ronnie Wood is, he's a member of the Rolling Stones. Google at your own risk.)

I look NOTHING like Ronnie Wood! My mother would never go NEAR Ronnie Wood, yet he was my FATHER?!?!?! What the HAAAAAAIL?!?!?!

I was devastated. (yet this explains why my brother and I look NOTHING alike...)

And my "dad" was coming to see me. His visit was very anti-climatic. He showed up in an old brown convertible with old Taco Bell decals on it. (I've got to stop eating junk food.) I guess there was some dispute as to whether or not I was really his daughter. Apparently there were LOTS of people coming out of the woodwork (pun intended?) saying they were offspring of the Ronnie Wood. Through the magic of dreaming, we did a super quick DNA test, it was proven that I was indeed his daughter (I was heartbroken), he threw some of my inheritance at me and then he was off in the Taco-vertible.

I just remember my Dad being really sad, and that made me sad. And then there was a bouncy castle.

And then I woke up!!!

Seriously? What the heck?

First off, my Mom would never cheat on G. Colin Hurl. Second off, I look WAAAAY too much like G. Colin Hurl. Third off, have you SEEN Ronnie Wood?


I can't imagine what my life would be like if I was on drugs. Maybe it would be normal instead?

Back to the bouncy castle!

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