Movies...

...I have to stop watching them. They're corrupting my soul. And crushing my heart. I have 361 days left. I fear I'm going to be a soul-less, heartless, human personification of a female dog by the end of this experiment.

My latest movie obsession is "Scott Pilgrim vs. the World". If you're friends with me on Facebook, you're probably really really sick and tired of hearing about it. So sorry. But this is my blog and I can talk about it til I turn blue in the face... if I so choose.

BUT fortunately for you, I don't "so choose" to do so today.

I love how much Scott loves Ramona. That's all I shall say.

In movies, the hero is (more times than not) just MADLY in love with the heroine. Or even if they're just friends, most of the times he puts her needs first. We are raised to believe that this is the way things are in the real world.

"Hermando heads for the door as Louisa starts to cry softly. As the door closes, a tidal wave is unleashed. She turns into a crumpled ball of emotion. He calls her to make sure she's OK. She is not. Like a good friend, he comes running back and holds her for the rest of the night as she cries. He doesn't say a word. He doesn't have to. Just being there is enough. He listens to her and strokes her hair softly..."

Yeah. Definitely a movie. It really goes like this:

"Hermando heads for the door as Louisa starts to cry softly. As the door closes, a tidal wave is unleashed. She turns into a crumpled ball of emotion. He texts her to make sure she's OK. She is not. He texts her back that he is just not in the mood. He is only concerned about his own 'suffering' and has no time or interest in what is hurting his friend's heart. He does not come back. He finds a small puppy and kicks it in the face..."

Yeah. That's more like it.

The good news is (as I learned last night) for every person who stomps on your heart, there are plenty who will protect it and keep it safe.

As I was laying in bed being a big baby and crying, I got text messages from people saying that they loved me and they were here for me.

Awww!

I wasn't crying by the time I fell asleep.

I have got to stop this stupid cycle. I think last night was an exercise in anger. The anger that causes things to finally change. The anger that builds a huge iron-clad box around your heart until the right person comes along with the key. The anger that makes someone work for it and deserve it first...

...in 361 days, of course.

P.S. THIS IS NOT ABOUT FREN!!!