Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Cinnamon Rolls and a Tall Glass O'Milk

I am obviously feeling the need for some sweet sustenance.

Sustenance denied. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe not ever. SOOOOO many calories.

Since I've been MIA, here are some things that have happened.

I now have an "office area" and I made some stuff to junk it up!!!

It's a lot cooler in person, I promise. Both projects were hard to photograph. And they'll both be junked up more. I mean, obviously the limb isn't JUST going to be decorated with crystals and a picture of me and my dog. There will be others added. It's nice to be crafting again. I've missed it.

In other news...

NJ got cat attacked and almost had to have his head amputated.

I said almost...

Stupid neighbors cat. Grr. His face was all swollen on one side yesterday, and I didn't really think anything INSANE of it because NJ and this cat have a history. An abusive one. Evil cat is always taking chunks out of NJ. Yesterday afternoon, I was singing "Can't read my/ can't read my/ no you can't read my puffy face (NJ's got one like nobody)".

Sorry, buddy. I didn't realize the vet was going to have to shave your face. And lance some stuff. And make you oozy.

NJ's face looks like how I feel in my insides. All bloody and cutty and oozy.

Oh well, this too shall pass.

For my innards as well as NJ's face.

Oh there I go, sounding all Emosey again.

(Haha. Sorry Mosey.)

Just two more things, then I'll go

1) You know how I linked to Tavi yesterday? (or whatever day that was...) Yeah. A) Girl's insane. B) Pretty dang sure we could be besties if given the chance.

2) I read this snippet from "Jane Eyre" today:


"Still indomitable was the reply -- 'care for myself.' The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself. I will keep the law given by God; sanctioned by man. I will hold to the principles received by me when I was sane, and not mad -- as I am now. Laws and principles are not for the times when there is no temptation: they are for such moments as this, when body and soul rise in mutiny against their rigour; stringent are they; inviolate they shall be. If at my individual convenience I might break them, what would be their worth? They have a worth -- so I have always believed; and if I cannot believe it now it is because I am insane -- quite insane: with my veins running fire, and my heart beating faster than I can count its throbs. Preconceived opinions, foregone determinations, are all I have at this hour to stand by: there I plant my foot."

You go, Jane.

COMING UP THIS WEEK (hopefully):

Katie and Courtney Love are BFFs (AKA "Adventures in Cold Medicine")

Things I've Been Learning as a Single Lady (AKA "Can I Have a Leopold, Please?")

Sunday, May 29, 2011

To Whom it May Concern...

Ok, people.

I want you to go to The Style Rookie...


K? K.

Good talk.

Also, Cordy and I are both feeling better and on the mend.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Cold Medicine Makes Me an Incredible Human Being

Neat things have transpired this evening.

The latest:

My phone rings. It's midnight. I'm busy being sick and not sleeping, but I'm not in a state of full awareness either.

Caller ID says it's my brother.

My brother was supposed to bring me some pop or something earlier to ease my throatular discomfort. He failed to do so.

Phone conversation goes like this.

Me: *Murph gurgle smrph* Hello?

Person on the phone: Hi.

(Some other stuff goes here)

I realize that I don't know who's on the other line. My phone hath betrayed me.

Me: Who is this?

Person on the phone: IT'S FREN!

That's right. I am so out of it that I cannot tell the difference between my brother and my bestest friend in the whole wide world.

Me: I'm sorry. My dog is sick.

Fren: Maybe she took some of your cold medicine.


Ok, so yeah. I thought my best friend was my brother, I try to cover it with an ever so clever "My dog is sick." (Which is true, she is soooo sick.), he tells me to call him tomorrow, I whine "But I wanna taaaalk...." (Because the subtle whine of desperation persuades people EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.)

*Le sigh* (Do you know how long it took me to locate the asterisk in the dark? So much time.)

My brother didn't bring me pop. My throat feels all tickly and gross.

My dog is sick.

I'm wide awake now.

I don't have kleenexes, so I've got a roll of toilet paper on my bedside table... half a roll now.

Fren thinks I'm a druggie.

I'm watching Death Cab for Cutie on "Vh1 Storytellers".

I think Fren is right. I'm sleeping.


Tomorrow, I'll tell you of the adventures of "Katie Trying to Keep Cordy from Dying".

P.S. Tomorrow I have to play a beautiful lady that a knight falls in love with in my friends Matthew & Keith's movie. Doing so with a bright red "cold" nose could be my greatest perfomance to date. (And I've had some GREAT performances in my life, LET ME TELL YOU!)

Friday, May 27, 2011


I seem to have come down with the unfortunate sore throat/ sinus crud that my mom and brother have/had.

Maybe it's just allergies...

Bottom line: throat hurts. Nasal passages are dripping.

I had yesterday off, so I pretty much relaxed. Matthew and Keith came over to pick out my costume for filming on Saturday, and then I had a nail appointment at 3. That's it. I felt pretty good, and then as the day went on, I felt bleh.

My hair looked like this yesterday:

Perfectly acceptable. Not bad hair.

But you know me, I get bored. Especially since I'm GROWING MY HAIR OUT. I am a restless person. I've got to push through this.

I've been reading Hair on the Brain a lot lately, and I decided "Hey. If they can do all that stuff, I'ma try it!" I mean, granted, a lot of it looks dumb, but they somehow pull it off. I'm sure I couldn't pull some of the looks off, but I thought I would try at least one:


I had the good fortune to be born to a cosmetologist, so any time I wanted my hair done, all I had to do is say "Hey, Mom..." and she'd roll it for me before bed.

Not the case last night. I was on my own.

I could do this.

To prove my point, I made a bunch of "tough girl" faces...

Obviously, I am not a "section the hair off, and use a rattail comb to section off individual pieces of hair to roll" girl. I am a "grab a nice size clump of hair and just wrap it around the roller" girl.

After the hair was rolled, I hit it with a bit of hairspray. The next step was my favorite: I slept.

I had weird dreams, and I woke up with a roller digging into my left shoulderblade having falled off in the night, but other than that, it seemed to work well.

I was a tad disappointed and worried when the curlers first came out.

But then I shook it out.

(Cool action shots, huh?)

That made it a little better.

So then, I put my bangs back and put a flower in it.

Woo hoo!!!

Cordy looked worried.

I did my makeup, and put on a cute dress. Yay for dressing up for work!

Let's see the mailman come in TODAY and tell me I look boring!!! Mwahahaha!!!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Bittersweet Symphony

"And I'm a million different people from one day to the next
I can't change my mold no no no no no no."

Trip down memory lane: check.

You're welcome.

Monday, May 23, 2011


This weekend was super cool. I got to hang out with Mom and Dad, FINALLY got my hands on a copy of "Aftermath", went to church, got to hang with Bill (my brother suddenly wants to be "Bill" now) and eat lunch yesterday, went to Ashlie's graduation partay, went over to Bill's and chilled some more, then went home and crashed.

The weather has been beautiful the last few days. On nice days like yesterday, I am super glad to live in a small town. You can eat lunch at the park and be pretty much alone. You can stand on a picnic table and take pictures.

Everything is pretty much within walking distance, and if you don't walk, then you ride everywhere with the windows rolled down. You arrive at your destination with rosy cheeks and a new hairdo. What's NOT to love?

(Right now, Miranda Lambert and Joel Houston are duking it out for the title of vocal champion of Mid Kansas Wireless thanks to Ryan. I'm guessing he does not approve of my musical choice and instead of saying something to me, he took the passive aggressive route and just turned his music on instead. TEAM JOEL!!!)

There was something else I was going to say, but I canny remember now. I'm going to blame it on taking a chunk out of my head with my blowdryer this morning...


Thursday, May 19, 2011

Serious Times. Serious Measures.

First off, let me show you some drawings that only about 7 people would ever understand, and probably only 4 out of 7 will ever look at them.

Last night, this happened. (I can't remember what caused the redness, but it happened. And he couldn't hide from it.)

Cathy yelled about Guinness.

The Guinness tirade went like this:

It was pretty a pretty colorful time. There was one color missing though...

Also, because "Andy" rhymes with "Candy"... some stories got started. And they got a little out of hand. The picture makes it sound super inappropriate. But I don't think it was meant to be THAT bad. But then again, I was the only one NOT drinking. So I can't tell you what everyone else was thinking.

After that, I seem to have a memory fail.

Ok. That's all for the peoples from last night. It's gonna get serious now, so you might want to leave. Love!!!


Yesterday was a pretty life changing day for me.

Any day you lock yourself in the bathroom at work at 3pm and have a major "heart to heart" with God is going to leave a mark. Am I right?

I know I haven't been living right. It's been this way for awhile. My life is anything but glorifying to God. I mean, yes, it could be worse, but I don't play that game anymore. I'm not interested in getting just as close as I can to the super forbidden and saying "But I'm not touching it!!!"

I've touched it. I've lived it. Obviously, it's worked out super well for me.

I just sat there in the bathroom floor, tears streaming down my face, and I uttered a two-word prayer.


God knew what I meant with those two words. "Just take it all. Take the trash. Take what I'm doing. Take where I'm living. Take the pain. Take my desires. Take my dreams. Take everything."

"Take it all AWAY."

As soon as I uttered those words, I was filled with two feelings. The first was immediate peace and relief. The second one was extreme terror.

I've had this conversation with God before. At a different work, but still in the bathroom. (Where else can a girl get some real privacy?!?!?) It was the "I know my life is not pleasing to you. I know I'm not doing what You have for me. Take everything that's standing in the way of YOUR will for my life."

A month after that prayer, I was diagnosed with a heart condition and lost my job. 11 months after that prayer, I was filing for divorce. (Now, I am in NO WAY saying that it was "God's Will" for those not nice things to happen, but sometimes He uses those things to get our attention and move us where He wants us to be.)

I would have NEVER imagined those things happening to me. Never in a million years. But being on the other side of that now, I am THANKFUL for it. I am thankful for every tear that had to fall and every piece of my heart that had to break to get me HERE.

But you can sense my fear at finding myself in a similar place 3 years later.

What scares me more than anything is that I don't even know what I want. Yesterday, I found myself asking "What would make you the happiest, more than anything in the world?" and I did not have an immediate answer. "Marriage? No. Kids? No. Moving? No."

After further prayer last night, I feel that after 26 years of fighting, my honest answer is that I truly want to do what He has for me.

The great thing about giving God free reign in your life is that He can do ANYTHING.
The terrifying thing about giving God free reign in your life is that He can do ANYTHING.

My first instinct is to scared beyond measure.

But I am more excited thank you will ever know.

He's brought me this far. He'll continue. I know this.

Now, I just have to start living it. And that means a fair bit of change. (Like not talking about Andy and Candy...)

Please pray for me. Who knows what God has up His sleeve. :)

Wednesday, May 18, 2011


"And in that moment of glorious surrender
Was the moment You broke the chains in me
Lifted out of the ashes
I am found in the aftermath."

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Rando (AKA "Sugar Induced")

I don't know why, but this video made me laugh soooo hard this morning. (I'm going to blame it on too much sugar, being awake too early, and hanging out with my brother Bill too last night...) I < 3 that Joel Houston guy.

So, yeah. That was video time for the day. Hope you enjoyed it. Bye!!!

Just kidding.

Climb aboard the Random Railroad, and let's see what else we can discover!!!

Sometimes, I draw on pictures of animals.

This is my dog Cordy. You may have heard of her before. Kristin took this picture while she was waiting on me to come home one day, but I drew on it and then I thought I would send it to Fren, but I didnae. Because he was in CA having fun, so I didn't REALLY want him to come home. That sounds harsh. What I meant was "I wanted him to stay there. And have the fun. And come home at his leisure." which is exactly what he did.

Moving on.

This is Mosey. He belongs to Doug & Staci (of Cinco de Mayo fame). He is probably my third favorite dog. (Next to Cordy and Ellie, of course.) I saw him smiling in this picture and I couldn't resist putting my own spin on it. I don't think he minded. I think Doug & Staci laughed... I think...

This is "Random Cat". I found him online. I'm also discovering that if I was a real artist, this would be a part of my "Top Hat Period"... because apparently, I had a compulsion to draw a top hat on every animal I saw at that time.

This is from that one time that Cordy robbed a bank and was a super greedy face about it. Goodness knows I never saw a dime of that money. Also, why did I draw a sign that says "West" when in relation to where that picture is taken, it is most DEFINITELY pointing East? But I guess y'all never would've known that...

This is Fluffy. She belongs to Mom and Dad's crazy neighbors. Again with the top hat? I gotta get more creative.

And now, for something even differenter:

As you may recall, I am in a weird(er) mood today.

A guy called in to work this morning, asking for Ryan. Well, it's Ryan's day off and this guy was annoyed by this fact. I could hear it in his TONE. I felt the distinct desire to say "Don't take that tone with me!" like our mothers do when we're kids... or 26. ANYWAY, I did not like this guy. So as I wrote the note for Ryan, I wrote the guy's name down wrong. I wrote his name as if he was a swamp monster. (I basically threw in a different vowel.)

The original draft of the note:

But then I had the mental picture of this happening:

And I didn't want the GROGSCHOFFORR to come and attack my co-worker with his unbridled rage. (Aren't I kind?)

So I rewrote the note.

And with that, I bid you good day.


P.S. I have decided I am going to marry an Australian.

Friday, May 13, 2011


I'm sitting in a hotel in Kansas City. My Mom, Grandma, Aunt Barbara, Aunt Gracellen, Aunt Eileen, and Aunt Jackie and I are all having a GIRLS WEEKEND!!! WOOOO HOOOO.

I had a great little blog that I tried to blog yesterday, but in all the preperations to get ready to leave, I didn't get it done. So I'll make it short and sweet and add an amusing little anecdote from this morning.

"The Insecurity Monster"

I don't know what the deal is, but for the last week, I have been waking up at EXACTLY 4:16am EVERY DAY.

When he shows up, I am seized with this fear of "Omgosh. I haven't heard from so and so lately. I hope I haven't offended them in any way. Are they still my friend?" and I think about it, I obsess about the last conversation or text message I might have shared with that person. I try to figure out how I screwed it up. Just ask Justin and Libby. They have recieved soooooo many "We coo?" text messages. Sorry, guys.

WHY DO I DO THAT? And why doesn't that dang monster just go away?

I think it's because when I was growing up, silence was used as a weapon.


It's carried over into the adult times.

It's dumb.

I know this.

It's really bad with guys, because my Dad and my ex did it REALLY bad. Sorry ESPECIALLY to Justin and Fren. '=

This morning when the Monster woke me up, instead of obsessing over who might be not talking to me and for what reason, I angrily growled back "I. AM. ON. VAY.CAY.TION! GO. AWAY. NAO!"

I don't have to worry about this. I know my friends have my back, and I don't have to talk to them EVERY. SINGLE. DAY to know this. I do not need people patting me on the leg and telling me "It's ok. We still love you." EVERY. FIVE. MINUTES.

Good grief. I get annoyed by people who are like that. And I'm being that person. If you see me start to do that, please alert me to the situation and I will do my best to rectify it.

If that dang monster shows up again tomorrow morning, I know just what I'll do.

And now for something completely different:

Awkward breakfasty times with the strange ponytailed man .

This just in: explaining the concept of "Laffy Taffy" to my Grandmother who has dementia...

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Stuff: You're Not Doing It Right

(Note: The blog is very exaggeratey today, but I'm trying to make a point.)

I don't know what is going on right now in life, but can I just get a little bit of understanding here?

Let me break this down for y'all, my friends, on a level that certainly EVERYONE can understand:

I am a different sort of person. I have a weird sense of humor, and I am a fan of the hyperbole. This does not, I repeat, DOES NOT make me stupid.

The reason I am choosing to address this is because many people seem to be under this impression these days. Hearing how wrong you are all the time (especially when you're just doing it for a joke) is becoming increasingly annoying.

I was on the phone last night with Fren *SHOCK* and he started playing a word game. "Sweet tea/tea bag/bagpipe" and so I said "pipe cleaner." That's an "out of the box" answer, yet it is still valid, am I right?

Poor Fren. He was only the 50th person who had told me I was "doing it wrong" yesterday. (Family included.) I went off(ish).

(Sometimes the odd dinosaur sneaks in...)

I felt like I was starting to annoy him. But I can't help it! That's just the way I act!

I've done the whole "Please please like me. I promise I'll try to be normal!" thing with way too many people. (And way too recently.) I'm over it.

Recently, I have felt like as soon as a statement leaves my mouth, it gets shot down. (Or otherwise attacked.)

Bottom line: I am weird. I have always been weird, I will always be weird. I will always exaggerate and play up something negative for a laugh. (But I am very VERY lovable if you give me a chance.)

If my style bothers you greatly, tell me and I'll try to tone it down a bit. Otherwise, just as you expect me to extend you some understanding, you might try throwing some my way every once in awhile.

/End rant.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011


Once upon a time last night, I went to Libby's house. We had decided we were going to watch a movie that she had recently procured from the Netflix place, so I wandered over about 8:30.

I brought cake.

Well, it was leftover from Mother's Day, so it was more like half of a cake.

It wasn't just ANY cake. It was a coconut cake. It was my favoritist cake in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD!!! (If I ever get ahold of one of these cakes, and I offer to share it with you, you are a special SPECIAL person.)

Lemme break it down for you. This is the cake I will serve at my next wedding. I will have a next wedding JUST SO I CAN SHARE THIS CAKE.

Yes. It is that magnificent. I will risk my future just so I can have a wedding and share this cake with my nearest and dearest.

It is a thing of beauty, this cake.

Ok. You get the idea.

Libby's house. Movie. Cake.

We started the movie while Libby was eating her raviolis. Once the raviolis were said and done, we sat quietly on the couch and watched the moving picture.

About 10 minutes in, I was like "Ummm.... cake?" and Libby was all "OMGGETOUTOFMYHEAD" and we ran to the kitchen. (Ok, she didn't really react like THAT, but that's a fun mental image, Libby being a valley girl.)

(She's gonna kill me for that.)

We went to the kitchen and cut into the cake. "How big a piece do you want?" she asked. And then we got into a conversation about how big of pieces of cake we weren't allowed to partake of as children...

...and we decided that right then was the appropriate time to redeem the past.

We sat back down and resumed the movie, happily digging into the delicious cakey goodness.

About halfway through, I think we both started sensing why Moms are good cake judges. We were in trouble, but we were NOT. BACKING. DOWN.

By the time we were done, we were both regretting our decision pretty hardcore.

What profound statement could possibly express the happy misery we were experiencing at that exact moment?

I had no choice but to agree with my friend as the delicious confection slid down my digestive channel and started to wreak stabby havoc on my stomach.(It tried to trigger my vomitation mechanism, but I successfully kept it at bay.)

So much cake, indeed.

Dear Mom,
You were right all those years. I shall never again violate the unspoken portion rules of cakedom.

Much Love & Etc.

Your Daughter,