Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Adventures in Plenty of Fish!!

Ok. So, I always say I'm not going to do online dating. And yes, I have no intention of doing so...

But I have a stomach bug and Kristin's gone and I'm bored.

Enter Plentyoffish.com

As a single person who is sometimes saddened by their "single" status, I decided to see what's out there.

Answer? Not a whole lot. (Translation: "There are lots of guys to choose from, but I am not impressed so far.") Frank Iero's long lost twin is nowhere to be found.

I also decided to conduct a test. I've tried eharmony a few times. I even tried POF one time before. I poured my heart out(ish) into my profiles and selecting just the right pictures.

This time, I wrote four poorly constructed sentences and just put up one picture.

(This picture.)

So obviously, I was prepared for some interesting responses.

Within (literally) sixty seconds, I already had two inbox messages. (I'm twenty minutes into the experiment and I have six messages, which is already three times the amount I had any other time.) The subject lines tally as follows: one "Hello", three "Hi"s, one "hi" and one "no bs".

OOH! Two more "hi"s! BAZINGA!!

What do these lovely gentlemen have to say?

Um.... ok. Let's take some time out to cover some ground rules.

1) Capitalization and punctuation. (Not to mention proper use of the space bar.)
2) Really? You're going to call me a smartass right out of the gate?
3) I don't respond to demands to "hit me up".
4) You look like one of the guys that made a remark about my butt when I was at work this morning. AUTOMATIC DISQUALIFICATION!!

Nope. That's my cat.


We will not get along. And it has nothing to do with your former location. It has EVERYTHING to do with the LSU cap on your head.

Did you not read the "ROLL TIDE ROLL!!" on my profile? Clearly this is not meant to be.

So. Many. Things. To. Say.

(OOOH! Another "Hi"!!)

And sometimes the messages aren't so terrible...But the profiles are.

Three paragraphs about how nice guys finish last and all girls are bishes? Oh dear. Also, you have a large gun.

Annnnd close match.

Le Sigh.

(Is it bad to disqualify someone based on their username? Yeah... that's probably bad.)


Sunday, November 27, 2011

For the Holidays, You Can't Beat Home Sweet Home

I am at "home" at my Mom and Dad's. I've been here since Wednesday night (it's Sunday morning) and so far, no one has murdered anyone.


Actually, we all get along pretty well. (You may remember that Bill and I were homeschooled. Nothing makes a family learn to get along like being together 24/7 for a bazillion years.)

This year has been kind of a different year. I mean in terms of my own healing time. You would think 2 years after a divorce it'd all be out of your system but I guess like all gaping wounds, different peoples is different.

My crash course in getting over things started about a week ago when I saw my ex in-laws as I was working. Yikes. I didn't have time to hit the deck, so I was a nice person and waved. Ex-mom waved back but I don't think they were very happy to see me.

< sarcasm > Obviously, I was crushed. < /end sarcasm >

I saw them AGAIN as they were checking out on Wednesday but this time they adopted the "Let's just ignore the fact that the whore of Babylon even exists" approach.

What's in the past is in the past. And I'll be chicken fried if I let 5 years of my life ruin the present and future part of my life. I can't go around wondering what could have happened. Lots of things COULD have happened. But they DIDN'T. And I HIGHLY doubt things would've gotten BETTER as time went on.

But when you're a girl and it was your "first love" (whatever the heck that means) you tend to try to sugar coat things.

Let's get real, shall we? (Out with the sugar, in with the arsenic.)

K. Did it.

This year, instead of moping and wondering what my ex was up to, I LIVED MY LIFE.

I soaked up the family I neglected for years.

We ate food.

We played games.

I learned valuable information about Alabama's 2012 schedule.

(Michigan is the ex's favorite team)

I left my computer unattended.

Oh yeah, and this happened:

It was a fantastic weekend and so many fun times were had. I can't wait to see what happens next.

Hope everyone's Thanksgiving was truly splendid!!!

Go in excellence and safety.


Saturday, November 26, 2011

Sleepless Musings

Ok. Seriously.

Where's my single, Jesus lovin', madly in love with me version of Frank Iero?

I grow impatient.

I also grow more aware of my need for sleep. Right now.

I promise a Thanksgiving recap and some drawings at a more convenient time. Say, tomorrow maybe.



Friday, November 18, 2011

We Interrupt This Program....

Ok. Seriously.

I haven't found any time to vlog lately and I'm running out of steam on that front.

The obvious solution?

Back to writing with the occasional illustration.

This will not doubt please the majority of the masses!

That being said, I need to go to work now. But I will return with something hopefully delightful.


Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Work Attire...

Without looking totally boring and not very "me"?

P.S. Those dresses were originally $9/ea. I SAVED $32 DOLLARS, PEOPLE!! BARGAINNNNNNNN!!!