Ok. So, I always say I'm not going to do online dating. And yes, I have no intention of doing so...
But I have a stomach bug and Kristin's gone and I'm bored.
As a single person who is sometimes saddened by their "single" status, I decided to see what's out there.
Answer? Not a whole lot. (Translation: "There are lots of guys to choose from, but I am not impressed so far.") Frank Iero's long lost twin is nowhere to be found.
I also decided to conduct a test. I've tried eharmony a few times. I even tried POF one time before. I poured my heart out(ish) into my profiles and selecting just the right pictures.
This time, I wrote four poorly constructed sentences and just put up one picture.
So obviously, I was prepared for some interesting responses.
Within (literally) sixty seconds, I already had two inbox messages. (I'm twenty minutes into the experiment and I have six messages, which is already three times the amount I had any other time.) The subject lines tally as follows: one "Hello", three "Hi"s, one "hi" and one "no bs".
OOH! Two more "hi"s! BAZINGA!!
What do these lovely gentlemen have to say?
Um.... ok. Let's take some time out to cover some ground rules.
1) Capitalization and punctuation. (Not to mention proper use of the space bar.)
2) Really? You're going to call me a smartass right out of the gate?
3) I don't respond to demands to "hit me up".
4) You look like one of the guys that made a remark about my butt when I was at work this morning. AUTOMATIC DISQUALIFICATION!!
Nope. That's my cat.
(OOH! TWO CHAT REQUESTS! SCORE!!)
We will not get along. And it has nothing to do with your former location. It has EVERYTHING to do with the LSU cap on your head.
Did you not read the "ROLL TIDE ROLL!!" on my profile? Clearly this is not meant to be.
So. Many. Things. To. Say.
(OOOH! Another "Hi"!!)
And sometimes the messages aren't so terrible...But the profiles are.
Three paragraphs about how nice guys finish last and all girls are bishes? Oh dear. Also, you have a large gun.
Annnnd close match.
(Is it bad to disqualify someone based on their username? Yeah... that's probably bad.)
TO BE CONTINUED...