Bruises

This weekend. (<_<)>_>)

Was interesting.

I turned 26 yesterday. Go me! Living another year. Who woulda thought I had it in me...

Friday night, I went to Ihop with 4 of my favorite people and then stayed up til 5 am playing Trouble and watching a movie. The bags under my eyes should be documented in a medical journal.

I had a great weekend with my parents. (I got to spend some of it with my brother too!) I ordered my first ever "my own" computer, they took me out to eat, Mom dyed my hair, we went to church (PASTOR MARK IS BACK!!!), watched a movie, Mom made my birthday meal, we had cake, went shopping and played games... And there was much rejoicing. *yaaay* (Monty Python references are never NOT a good idea.)

Somehow between all the unicorns and rainbows, I still managed to get bruised. My heart has a knack for getting roundhouse kicked in the face. (If hearts had faces...)

I know, you're sick of hearing about it, but I don't care. This is a learning process, people.

It doesn't matter if I get hurt. What matters is that I learn from it. God doesn't care that I'm in the fire. (Not to sound cold about it.) I tend to get stuck in a fire of my own making anyway. What He cares about is what I become in the fire. He cares that I change.

I learned to not be one of those girls who waits for her phone to ring if someone says they'll call or text. I was already learning that, but this weekend something snapped and I just took charge of it. My life and plans will not be dictated by waiting around for something to happen or someone to show up. It's OK. People have their own lives and schedules. I have my own life and schedule and I won't continue to put people on the back burner or waste time waiting for that stupid piece of electronics to beep. (And I didn't do that yesterday. Go me again!)

I learned that there are some people who just enjoy being martyrs. Best leave them to it. You'll never be good enough to cheer them up, so don't make yourself a martyr for them. (Martyr is such a weird looking word.)

I learned that selfishness is not an attractive quality, but it seems to be the one thing that everyone has in abundance.

I learned that relationship statuses change. Even on birthdays.

I learned to stop beating myself up. I learned this at 2am today while texting my wonderful cousin Brant. He's probably the one family member that I can tell ANYTHING. I was feeling pretty bad last night and this is what he told me: "Katie, you are beautiful and your middle name holds meaning not because of your family, but His grace. It's never ending and you are already forgiven." I have always known the meaning of my middle name, but I never really stopped to think about it until I was putting my makeup on this morning for work. Grace means unmerited favor. Undeserved. I deserve the opposite of favor, yet He lavishes it upon me. I don't have to beat myself up. He doesn't beat me up. He doesn't even want to beat me up. When He looks at me, He doesn't see my mistakes, He sees me. And He still loves me.

That's more than I can say for anyone else. (That sounds harsh, but it's true. You can't get that from another human being. I promise.)

Cheers.

Cheers to bruises and the lessons that come with them!

Kill it with fire.