I woke up this morning and looked at myself in the mirror.
My red clown nose and puffy eyes are exquisite.
After wiping the runny mascara off my face, I looked at the reflection and leaned forward. I made eye contact with myself and muttered ever so defiantly "Katie, you're NOT going to do this today."
Last night was hard on my heart. We're talking SUPER hard. I'm sure if you were to do an ultrasound on it right now, it'd look something like this:
(My Mom is trying to read over my shoulder as I write this. She already knows what's going on, so I don't know why she's trying to read it. I covered the screen and said "Nuh uh! No sneak peeks! You have to wait til it's published like the rest of my blaaarging public!" to which she replied "I gave BIRTH to you! With all the brain cells that allow you to DO this!!!" Touche, Mom. Touche.)
Anyway, back to the story.
It's roughed up.
One of the reasons it's roughed up is just stupid. I don't like situations to be left unresolved, and I don't like people to be angry at me, but I think I'm just going to leave this one. Dumb dumb dumb. He can just continue to be miserable (since it seems to make him exceedingly happy). I don't want him to feel that way, but I'm sick of HIS misery being taken out on MY face. So, this one I'm a little angry about. Not gonna lie.
The other reason is just my own fault. I mean, it kinda is, but it kinda isn't. (I'm making total sense, aren't I?) I knew nothing was coming of this friendship (other than friendship) and I am really fine with it. And when I SAY fine, I MEAN fine. But I guess I was just a little blindsided. It happened sooner than I was prepared for it to be. How REDONK does that sound? "The thing in YOUR life happened sooner than IIIII had expected." LOL! Yeah, Katie. Get over yourself. Everybody else has. (Just throwing that in there so YOU don't have to! '= ) This one, I'm really OK with, I was just taken aback at the time. Carry on.
If #1 hadn't happened, then I highly doubt #2 would've had any effect on me.
Call the heart Doctor. I'm out.
I read Psalm 147:3 this morning:
"He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds." (ESV)
And I liked this version too:
"He heals the heartbroken
and bandages their wounds.
He counts the stars
and assigns each a name.
Our LORD is great, with limitless strength;
we'll never comprehend what He knows or does.
God puts the fallen on their feet again
and pushes the wicked into the ditch." (Psalm 147:3-6 The Message)
I like the part about the ditch.