Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Last Night.

I'm sitting here, paused at the keyboard. I'm trying to wrap my mind around it. I'm wondering how I can even explain just how awesome my night was. I'll try to keep it short...

I was just hanging around my house, when around 7 or so, I got a call from a friend asking me to go to a party with him. It was one of those "friend of a friend is having a party" parties. Not my cup of tea at all, but my friend wanted to go, so I decided to live a bit.

We get to the party, and I was already counting down til we could leave. It was everything I didn't like. Strangers, lots and lots of booze, boozed up strangers making out, dancing... it was very very uncomfortable and I wanted out.

And then I saw him.

Words are going to fail me as I try to describe this guy to you. He was gorgeous. Tall, but not too tall. Ripped, but not too ripped. He had a shaved head, but who needs hair when you look like that. I mean, he looked like Bruce Willis and Jason Statham somehow managed to have a man baby. Totally not my type, but I had a friend tell me the other day that I need to change my type.

I liked the look of change.

He saw me staring at him (how embarrassing!!!) and he made his way across the room to talk to me. I don't even remember what I said, but it must've been hilarious because I remember him laughing. It was a kind laugh, not a mean one.

I was in love.

He told me his name was B and that he was also a tag along to the party. We started talking about how much we hated parties like that, blah, blah, blah... (Even though I could tell he was enjoying it a bit more than I was, as he had a red cup in his hand. Tee hee!) We hit it off pretty well and next thing I know he was asking if there was somewhere we could go to talk... alone.

I threw "Sister Mary Katherine" (my good girl side) out the window and I suggested we go back to my house. I don't know what I was thinking. No, I clearly wasn't thinking! If you'd seen this guy, you wouldn't be thinking either!

We made it to the house and I noticed that there were lights on in the house. My roommate was at home, but she wouldn't bother us. It felt like took the longest time to get into the house. He was the hottest guy I'd ever seen, and he wanted me. Oh my gosh, it was slow motion. We get in the side door, and I notice that the lights are on in the basement. (I rent the basement from my roommate, who owns the house.) OK, again, no big deal, I'll just explain that I need the basement and she'll just go upstairs, right?

We go downstairs and she's down there doing laundry. Seriously? You want to do laundry now, Kristin? (I thought that to myself. I wouldn't say that out loud!) Also, her little cousin H is over. H is really excited to see us. OK, I might be able to shake K, but there's no way anything's going on when H is here. I introduce them both to B and we trade pleasantries.

I look at B like "what now?" and he asks "Hey, um, do you have a band-aid? I think I cut my finger."

"Oh! Yes! A band-aid! They'd be in the bathroom..." and as I walk in, he follows me and shuts the door.

Let me just tell you, my bathroom is not conducive to any extra-curricular activity whatsoever. I mean, I know that bathrooms aren't number one on the "gettin busy" list, but mine really shouldn't be. Mine would be listed at number 97 in the whole house! It simply was not working. I was going to have to go explain the situation to K.

I go into the laundry room and ask "Um, Kristin? Is there any way you could give the laundry a break for the evening?" My eyes get real big and I make a jerky head motion to the other room.

"No, I really have to have these clothes for tomorrow. They have to be done now."


"Please? I mean, just leave them, I'll do them for you first thing in the morning. I promise. I really need some privacy right now. If you get what I mean..."

"I get what you're saying, but I really need my laundry right now, so no."

A big fight ensues, I piss her off, I even made H cry in the process. They slam the basement door and go upstairs. "Great", I thought to myself. "I don't think I'm going to have anywhere to live in the morning, but it's going to be so worth it."

We make a beeline for the bedroom, and just as it's about to get good...

...My alarm goes off and I wake up.

I can't even get lucky in my dreams!

Did I have you going? I mean, come on! My basement doesn't have a door! (And I don't meet boys at parties and take them home. Have you met me? Seriously?)

In reality, I spent last night babysitting for a former co-worker. It was a lovely time. Her girls were awesome, and her dog was quite taken with me. Her blind dog.

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