I don't know why, maybe I'm just PMSing but I have felt VERY very tense the last few hours. It's driving me crazy. I feel like everything I say is being questioned or contradicted.
Have you ever felt like that?
It's so annoying!
Not to mention that I couldn't sleep last night. I'm sure that didn't help.
I think most of it is that I feel pulled between McPherson and Wichita. My home is here but at the same time, I feel like so much of me belongs in Wichita. UGH! This is not a new feeling to me. It's been going on for two years now. I keep praying about it, but I never feel any CLEAR direction on the matter. I'm sure I SHOULD be in Wichita because I could get a job with benefits, but I'm reluctant to leave Mac. It's been my home since I was 9. (And for those of you awful at math, that's 17 years.)
I don't want to leave my roommate in a lurch. I don't want to leave my boss in one either. (One of my co-workers is leaving this month already.)
(I'm sure the sense of urgency is purely hormonal and shall pass this week.)
These feelings are particularly disappointing because church was SOOOO good this weekend. It made me feel so much better about things, and now I just feel torn down. :(
Mom colored and cut my hair yesterday. We did a color called "Red Violet". The "swatch" (I don't know what you call it) at the beauty supply looked VERY dark dark red violet. Somehow, on MY head it turned out very hot pink. I like it, but I'm definitely bracing myself for the "OMG! Your hair's PINK" comments I'm going to get from customers today.
Yes, yes. I know. "You should just expect that because you're the one coloring your hair crazy colors." I do it because I LIKE the colors. Not because I want comments! I don't just get comments, I get opinions. I didn't ask for your opinion on my hair color or how I dress. I don't tell you how to do your hair or dress. Just saying.
In fact, I'm not asking for unsolicited opinions on ANYTHING. Keep them to yourself.
Or better yet, I'll just do this today:
Mmrph Grrphprr. (Happy Monday.)