If you know me, you know I have a gift for having OFF THE WALL dreams and sometimes I can remember them very vividly. *Cue Ryan, Libby, and Kristin falling over in a fit of laughter.*
I had a DOOZY last night. (Katie needs to stop paying attention to the media, let's just put it that way.)
I was... wait for it... getting married. But wait! There's MORE.
I was marrying a ROYAL!
(Yeah. I need to avoid the news for awhile...)
All I remember is being in this big church but it wasn't really a church. It was more like a brick office building and we were on the 3rd floor. It had a small sanctuary like a little prairie church, but it was in an ordinary brick building. It was weird. Everyone around me was nervous, but I was super chill.
I looked out the window and saw people for miles and miles and remarked to a guest "Oh my. It's just like May Day!" Two questions. 1) Why was a guest around me before my royal wedding? 2) Why was I comparing a wedding that was going to be broadcast to the WHOLE world to a McPherson "holiday"?
Things around this time start getting a little blurry. I remember tons of family and friends showing up, some allegedly famous hair stylist DETERMINING that they were going to get curls into Kristin's hair despite our constant "It's not going to stay!" proclamations, watching coverage of my own wedding on television, and cameras everywhere.
But I was NOT nervous... until it came time to get dressed.
My dress was uber boring. I mean, simple is cool, but I was marrying a PRINCE for crying out loud! They'd shut down the whole world for my wedding and I get to wear what was essentially a slip? (At least in my dream I had the body for it.)
But the dress wasn't the weirdest part.
The weird part was that the dress "came with" a headdress. A HAUTE COUTURE headress, nontheless. (I don't know about you other girls, but the last time I had a garment that "came with" another garmet, it was size 6x and I was going into 1st grade.) "This goes with the dress!" the royal dresser person said enthusiastically as she handed it to me.
It looked like this:
It was by a TOP DESIGNER.
"Um, I'd really rather not wear this." I said politely.
(Now, quick question. Why hadn't this all been tried on before? Why hadn't my hair, makeup, dress and accessories been discussed before I was lined up getting ready to walk in?)
I frantically searched the room, found a flower arrangement, grabbed the biggest flower I could find and said "I can wear this!"
I was frowned upon by the 30 people in front of me who apparently get to walk in before I do.
"No you cannot. Mr. So and So designed that headdress SPECIFICALLY for YOU!" the royal dresser informed me.
I was panicked, man. Let me just tell you.
Here I was, about to become a princess and NO ONE would listen to me! My hair was not done, I had NO shoes, and I had to follow 30 people (NONE of which I knew) into my OWN wedding. That made me #31 on the list of important people. So I wracked the guest list in my brain. Who could I get to help me?
I screamed the name of the only person who could POSSIBLY help me.
They moved on THAT one! (Why on EARTH did I ask for Jennifer Lopez? I have NO idea.)
She rushed out of the santuary where everyone was waiting and got me fixed in a jiffy! Was J. Lo my fairy godmother? Perhaps.
I was beautiful (and headdressless, I might add) and I was alone in the room as I prepared to walk through the big wooden doors and marry my prince.
The doors were opened, the people stood...
AND THEN I BLOODY WOKE UP!!!
What the what? I always wake up before I get married in my wedding dreams. I was genuinely curious on this one!
I'm open to guesses and interpretations, y'all. This could be fun.