"Sad Bastard Music"

(I can put a cuss word on my blog because I was QUOTING someone, so don't get your panties all in a knot.)

I woke up this morning feeling really heavy. I don't like that feeling. Actually, it's probably #23 on my list of least favorite feelings. (#1 being stepping in a unseen puddle of water whilst wearing socks.)

I am in SUCH a weird place. Yeah, you know. I've been saying that since October. Still there, but it keeps getting weirder. I can't really describe it. It's not "the calm before the storm" because I don't feel like a storm is coming. I just feel like I'm on the edge, like something is about to happen. But I have no clue what or who or when or how.

I'm super calm about it, but super not calm at the same time. I feel calm in my heart, but my mind is running like an insane hamster and foaming at the mouth.


I got up, turned on my Pandora and got in the shower before I noticed what station it was on. It was on my Sarah McLachlan station.

Now, don't get me wrong. I LOVE Sarah, I really do. But she's not something I listen to when I want something uplifting. (Ryan calls it "Sad Bastard Music".) I listen to Sarah when it's raining or I'm with Fren or I need nice sleeping or background music.

I already had shampoo in my hair when I heard the first chord. It was tooooo late.



And it really had to be THAT song? Really Pandora?

Yeah.

That song sums it up on so many different levels, it's not even funny. And I mean honestly, the song didn't even bother me all that much until I got an email...

It was entitled "Good Morning, NewSpring!" and it was from Pastor Mark. I was all "YEAH! This will make me feel better!" Nope. It was reminding us that the new sermon series "Vows" is starting today.

You guessed it, it's about MARRIAGE.

So I am determined to go to church today and push through. I am not going to think about Sarah McLachlan, or that one guy I was married to that one time, or how I failed at one of the most important things in life.

I'm going to get through this.

The thing is, I thought I WAS through this. It just keeps rearing it's ugly head from time to time. Do you ever really get over something like divorce? Or does it just scab over? Does the pain ever fully go away? Or does it just dull?

It doesn't define me, yet I am painfully aware and conscious of it.

I know change is coming. I know something great is going to happen. I know I'm going to look back at this and go "OOOOHHH!!! So THAT'S what God was doing while I felt like I was losing my mind."

It's just that I don't like the "Losing my mind" stage, and it's uncomfortable.

But it's not unbearable.

P.S. I got to see my brother and Bryce today. They came to see me at work. They got to witness my insanely incredible communication skills while dealing with a difficult to understand customer. You should ask them about it.

"Beauty" Post!

So, my friend Libby Parker did a post about applying makeup this one time. It inspired me to A) put some effort into my personal appearance after 26 years and B) do this post.

My friend Annie is a photographer and she has a senior shoot coming up. She didn't know what to do for it, so she called her trusty guinea pig. (Me.)

We went out and took some cute pictures Tuesday night, but we decided to go out yesterday to the Dillon Nature Center in Hutchinson and take a few more. I decided to get all fancy for this one.

I took temporary loss of my senses and decided to do my hair. I mean, PROPERLY DO my hair. (First, a prayer was said because I was going to wear my Easter dress and I wanted to look pretty. You can't look pretty with crap hair. Just sayin.)

Let's go on a photographic/instructional journey, shall we? Let's shall!

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First off, let's start with a clean slate. That's a good idea. I'm not convinced that I like my clean slate state. (As depicted in the picture.)


Don't put a pick, comb, or brush through your hair. Just gently comb through it with your fingers. (It's hard to do that and take a picture at the same time.)


Put some mousse in your hair and scrunch. (It's gonna be sticky and gross, but it's a good thing. You need that. Did I mention that It's gross though?)

This is me feeling gross about my hair.


Next, blow dry. I love my blowdryer. :)


(No. Really. I love it.)


It's really hard to blow dry your hair, take a picture, and look pretty. I got 2 out of 3. I can't complain.


Dry it until it's only a LITTLE damp and you look like a crazy person.


Then put some of this stuff in it. (It smells like SKITTLES!!!!)


It'll make the ends kind of crunchy, but again, this is a desirable effect for this 'do.


I decided to do something "dramatic" with my eye makeup. I always see girls with eyeliner and I think "Wow. They look cool and adult and pretty. I should be pretty and adult looking sometime." What better time to do it than when I'm having PICTURES TAKEN???


I looked like a raccoon.


I tried to be okay with it. (This is my "I'm trying to be ok with this" face.)


After I decided "I am NOT okay with this." and wiped off the majority of the eyeliner, I grabbed random sections of my hair, twisted it, and pinned it in place with bobby pins.


I was pretty pleased with the results, and that doesn't happen very often!

Here are a couple of pictures from the shoot. Once more get posted, I'll share them. (Would ya just look at that hair?)




I mean, I don't look as good as THIS Catherine...



...But this Katherine can keep trying! :P

Happy Royal Wedding Friday, everyone!!!

Dream Post!

If you know me, you know I have a gift for having OFF THE WALL dreams and sometimes I can remember them very vividly. *Cue Ryan, Libby, and Kristin falling over in a fit of laughter.*

I had a DOOZY last night. (Katie needs to stop paying attention to the media, let's just put it that way.)

I was... wait for it... getting married. But wait! There's MORE.

I was marrying a ROYAL!

(Yeah. I need to avoid the news for awhile...)

All I remember is being in this big church but it wasn't really a church. It was more like a brick office building and we were on the 3rd floor. It had a small sanctuary like a little prairie church, but it was in an ordinary brick building. It was weird. Everyone around me was nervous, but I was super chill.

I looked out the window and saw people for miles and miles and remarked to a guest "Oh my. It's just like May Day!" Two questions. 1) Why was a guest around me before my royal wedding? 2) Why was I comparing a wedding that was going to be broadcast to the WHOLE world to a McPherson "holiday"?

Things around this time start getting a little blurry. I remember tons of family and friends showing up, some allegedly famous hair stylist DETERMINING that they were going to get curls into Kristin's hair despite our constant "It's not going to stay!" proclamations, watching coverage of my own wedding on television, and cameras everywhere.

But I was NOT nervous... until it came time to get dressed.

My dress was uber boring. I mean, simple is cool, but I was marrying a PRINCE for crying out loud! They'd shut down the whole world for my wedding and I get to wear what was essentially a slip? (At least in my dream I had the body for it.)

But the dress wasn't the weirdest part.

The weird part was that the dress "came with" a headdress. A HAUTE COUTURE headress, nontheless. (I don't know about you other girls, but the last time I had a garment that "came with" another garmet, it was size 6x and I was going into 1st grade.) "This goes with the dress!" the royal dresser person said enthusiastically as she handed it to me.

It looked like this:

It was by a TOP DESIGNER.

"Um, I'd really rather not wear this." I said politely.

(Now, quick question. Why hadn't this all been tried on before? Why hadn't my hair, makeup, dress and accessories been discussed before I was lined up getting ready to walk in?)

I frantically searched the room, found a flower arrangement, grabbed the biggest flower I could find and said "I can wear this!"

I was frowned upon by the 30 people in front of me who apparently get to walk in before I do.

"No you cannot. Mr. So and So designed that headdress SPECIFICALLY for YOU!" the royal dresser informed me.

I was panicked, man. Let me just tell you.

Here I was, about to become a princess and NO ONE would listen to me! My hair was not done, I had NO shoes, and I had to follow 30 people (NONE of which I knew) into my OWN wedding. That made me #31 on the list of important people. So I wracked the guest list in my brain. Who could I get to help me?

I screamed the name of the only person who could POSSIBLY help me.



They moved on THAT one! (Why on EARTH did I ask for Jennifer Lopez? I have NO idea.)

She rushed out of the santuary where everyone was waiting and got me fixed in a jiffy! Was J. Lo my fairy godmother? Perhaps.

I was beautiful (and headdressless, I might add) and I was alone in the room as I prepared to walk through the big wooden doors and marry my prince.

The doors were opened, the people stood...

AND THEN I BLOODY WOKE UP!!!

What the what? I always wake up before I get married in my wedding dreams. I was genuinely curious on this one!

I'm open to guesses and interpretations, y'all. This could be fun.

"As consumers in a commercial driven culture we can begin to view other souls as objects, or potential cures for our deepest fears and insecurities. "Perhaps if I found the right lover I would no longer feel this deep existential despair." But of course no human soul could be the Constant Other, the face that will never go away. Only the infinite can fill that role. But the silence can be deafening. It's a fearful thing to be alone. Do you love me enough to let me go? "I can't live without you"- "I would die if you ever left me"- These are not the songs of love, these are the songs of consumption." - Jon Foreman

Short & Sweet

I had SUCH a good weekend.

Sooo good that I would call it delicious. Sooo good that if I had to pick one time of my life to relive over and over and over again, I'd probably choose the time between 6:45 Friday evening through 3:45 this morning.

That's right. It was THAT GOOD.

...Even though I am soooo paying for it at the moment as I only got about 3 hours of sleep last night (this morning?) and my eyelids weigh about two metric tons.

That being said, I haven't really got a blog planned for today, but I have a couple of drawings I'd promised to a couple of people.

So here they are!

This one's for Liz...because it happened again at breakfast on Thursday. She was a very nice lady. We definitely giggled after we left. Not in an "Omg, that lady was crazy!" way, but in a "REALLY? Second week in a row? What's up with that?" way.



And this one is for Ryan and Libby...because we totally saw this in the WalMart parking lot on Wednesday night. (I can't even draw it. I mean, it was breathtaking.)



And then this one is for fun. This is Mosey and he belongs to my friends Doug and Staci. I saw this picture on Staci's Facebook and I just HAD to doodle on it.



It makes me giggle.

Ok. I'ma go find a place to curl up and nap where "Work Ryan" won't find me...

(Just kidding.)

Saturday Morning

So... I heard this song as I was busting my butt to get to Wichita this morning. I was searching for some suitable music and I swear every station was playing Natasha Bedingfield. I call this scenario "The Wichita Curse" because I promise EVERY TIME I'm driving and I need some good music, EVERY STATION is all "TAKE ME AWWWWAAAAAAYYYYY! TO A SECRET PLAAAAACEE" (or however that crap song goes).

I flipped over to T95, and I thought "If Natasha is on THIS station, surely the end is nigh."

Fortunately for me, it was not Natasha I heard, but a sweet sweet twang followed by the sweet sweet gravely voice of Mr. Shaun Morgan. Ahhhh. Seether.

When I separated from that one guy I used to be married to, I saw the error of my ways and gave up pretty much all the music I was into while we were married. I noticed that it just didn't produce a good attitude in me, and I didn't need that in my life.

But I didn't give up Seether. I still heart them.

I hadn't heard them in awhile. Apparently, they have a new song and I really liked it. So I looked it up when I got to Mom and Dad's. Not only is it a delicious song, it has a delicious video.

It's like Saturday morning westerns and Saturday morning cartoons all rolled into one, methinks. And it ACTUALLY IS Saturday morning!



Awesome sauce.

Where's the Reset Button?

(I was going to write something entirely different, but blogger hates pictures today.)

SO... I don't know what this fun game is that my body is playing, but I was WIDE awake at 2:44 this morning.

I usually don't have this problem, but last night, I could NOT get back to sleep for the life of me!

I laid on my right side.

I laid of my left side.

I accidentally kicked the dog in the face.

I laid on my stomach.

I laid on my back.

I think at one point, I had my head hanging off the end of the bed.

It was just too much for me to take.

I got out of bed, turned on my DVD player, discovered "Across the Universe" was still in there, took it out, and put in "The Mighty Boosh".

Sometimes, my days just go so weird/badly that I need to hang out with my good friends Vince & Howard. They didn't disappoint. I managed to stay awake through "Call of the Yeti" and "The Priest & The Beast" but I fell asleep about 10 minutes into "Nannageddon".

And then the dreams started...

I had HORRIFIC dreams. Oh my goodness. There was one where I woke up and somehow had burned my head in the middle of the night, so I had a perfect circle of hair missing from the top of my head. I kept trying to comb it from the back to the front in an attempt to cover it, but no such luck.

As if missing hair wasn't bad enough, in my dreams I had lady problems and I was gushing like a fire hydrant. And if THAT wasn't bad enough, my toilet started overflowing before I could even get to it and we had to shut the water off and my bathroom walls started crumbling and Kristin said it was all my fault. I was in bad shape people. Bald, bleeding, and no bathroom. Went to the Dr and he couldn't do anything for me. IN TWO SEPARATE DREAMS!!!! Bleh.

I woke up feeling really disgusting. (I can't imagine why.) And then I looked in the mirror.

I had taken a shower before bed and I didn't dry my hair, therefore it looked like a giant mushroom cloud. It was awesome. (And by awesome, I mean terrifying and I couldn't get to the bathroom to rewash it soon enough.)

What's a girl to do when there ain't nothin going right?

That's right. Dress to the nines. I'm wearing 3 inch heels, all the ruffles I could find, cute jeans, and blingy jewelry.

I am going to win this.

Have You Seen My Fren?

ADVENTURES IN SHOPPANG!!! (For Nancy)

Hello, Nancy.

I hope everything is just peachy keen in Germany. How is the weather? The weather here is stupid. I'ma stop boring you now and get on with the blog, 'k? 'K.

Kristin and I decided to go shopping at a late time of night last night. (I said night twice in the last sentence. That's one of my pet peeves, but I didn't know how else to express it.)

By late, I mean 7:14pm in McPherson and we wanted to shop in Salina, which YOU know is a 30 minute drive. Or maybe you didn't know. Well, anyway, you know now. The mall in Salina closes at 9, and we thought Target closed at 11, so we decided to be super cool and adventurous and just go for it.

7:14+ time for Cordy to eat and Kristin to change clothes+ driving time= sufficient time to speed shop.

We got to the mall and went to Old Navy first. Kristin found an adorable dress and I found a few "meh" items. ("Meh" is kinda like "It's cute, but I don't want to take the effort to dig my wallet out of my purse to purchase this article of clothing at this time.")

You get the idea.

Kristin and I had been discussing whether or not the Salina mall still had a Maurices or not.

I was on the side of "Yay.".
She was on the side of "Nay?".

(She'd probably tell the story differently, but I'm telling it 100% correctly, Nancy. Do not let her sway you.)

Salina mall has a Maurices! (I win.) We went in and started gazing at the plethora of dresses before our eyes. It was too much for my ADHD, let me tell you. I was all over the place like a fat kid at a cake convention. (Do they have those? They should.)

It wasn't very long before we were set upon by a helpful sales associate.

"How can I help you?"

"Oh, we're just looking."

"Ok, well if you need anything, just let me know!"

"Alright, thanks!"

It became very apparent that we were looking for dresses.

"Are you looking for dresses?" the helpful sales associate asked WAAAY too excitedly.

"Yes", I admitted in defeat. (It was painfully apparent that I was going to get help because I OBVIOUSLY can't be trusted to dress myself.) "I'm looking for an Easter dress."

"OOOOOOH! EASTER DRESSES!!!!! Have you seen our Easter dresses up front?"

"Yes. I'm looking for something a little fancier."

"WHAT ABOUT THIS ONE?!?!?!?!?!?" she asked super fanatically. "This is a SUPER cute dress!"



Nancy. The dress she was holding. I don't know where to begin.

It was adorable, yes. But it was NOT church appropriate. (As you can see by the vividly correct drawing.) Strapless, short cheetah print skirt. It was a "Going to a pwahty cluhb and lookin for trouble" dress. Not a "Go to church and praise Jesus" dress.

"Um... I think I'm looking for something more... one color?" (I honestly don't remember what my reaction was, but that would've been a nice way to let her down softly.)

I found a few, and I went to try them on.

There was a cute lace print looking one with a cute belt. But it was too big. I humoured Excited Sales Attendant and tried on a few that she had selected...they left me questioning "Did she even LOOK at my body before insisting I try this on?"

Finally, I found "The One."



I swear, Nancy. The clouds parted, the angels sang. There was weeping. It was grey, with all these fabric flowers and rhinestones... I took a couple of pictures when we got home. (They don't do it justice.)





(I'll try to take some pictures of it ON me at some point.)

After I had made my dress selection and swore to it that we shall never be parted, Salesgirl of the Year conned me into earrings, bangles, and SHOES. (I don't buy bracelets EVER and I don't just purchase shoes willy nilly, but I was still heavily intoxicated with dress love at this point.)

Here are the shoes.


Hott, right? I don't normally wear heels, but I don't normally wear dresses like that either. Katie was coming out of her comfort zone. I could seriously rule the world with those shoes, though.

Super Salesgirl Supreme was GOOOOOOOOD. When I saw the total on the cash register, I almost passed out. But I did it. I took one for the team. (What team? I have no idea.)

I rationalized it to myself this way: "It's for Jesus." and "I have a wedding in June to go to , I'll wear it there too." and "I never dress up!" and "Katie feels pretty in this".

So, the dress is justified in my mind. The 3 inch heels, earrings, bangles, and cardigan however...

Oh who cares. You only live once, right?

Kristin dragged woozy Katie out of the mall just as everyone was shutting down.

We went to Freddy's Frozen Custard and Kristin ate. (You should Facebook her and ask her about the straw they gave her with her chocolate malt. Just sayin'.)

After Kristin was properly nourished, we waltzed into Target and Kristin found TONS of cute dresses. As we were in the fitting room, I heard something over the intercom. I asked Kristin "Are they closing?" because I couldn't hear whatever the dude said exactly. It was 9:52 in the PM. If they closed at 10, it gave us 8 minutes, right?

Kristin tried everything on at lightening speed, and we exited the room. I saw a helpful (intense sarcasm) fitting foom attendant and asked (nicely, too, I might add):



To which she (it?) replied:




Nancy, the WHOLE store was pissed at us. It was like the ultimate walk of shame. (And it was only 9:57!!!) Wait, I take that back. Cute customer service desk guy was plesant. Did I mention he was cute?

I am confident I would've left with his phone number had you been with us.

That pretty much wraps up the adventure. We drove home, it was boring.

We miss you, dear Nancy!!!!!

Love,
Katie (and everyone else, but I'm the one with the blog.)

Um... I Don't Know What to Call This One...

Sometimes it's embarassing to talk to You
To hold a conversation with the only One who sees right through
This version of myself I try to hide behind
I'll bury my face because my disgrace will leave me terrified

And sometimes I'm so thankful for Your loyalty
Your love regardless of the mistakes I make will spoil me
My confidence is in a sense a gift You've given me
And I'm satisfied to realise You're all I'll ever need

You looked into my life and never stopped
And You're thinking all my thoughts are so simple but so beautiful
And You recite my words right back to me before I even speak
You let me know I am understood

And sometimes I spend my time just trying to escape
I work so hard, so desperately, in an attempt to create space
'Cause I want distance from the utmost important thing I know
I see Your love, then turn my back, and beg for You to go

You looked into my life and never stopped
And You're thinking all my thoughts are so simple but so beautiful
And You recite my words right back to me before I even speak
You let me know I am understood

You're the only one who understands completely
You're the only one who knows me yet still loves completely

And sometimes the place I'm at is at a loss for words
If I think of something worthy, I know that it's already Yours
And through the times I've faded and You've outlined me again
You've just patiently waited to bring me back and then

You looked into my life and never stopped
And You're thinking all my thoughts are so simple but so beautiful
And You recite my words right back to me before I even speak
You let me know I am understood
("I Am Understood?" Relient K)

It's something else to hear a song that you loved in high school... and realize you feel the same exact way 8 years later.

Tip of the Day

The most efficient way to cool down late night taquitos is to:

Step 1) Check to see if they are in need of cooling down. (The best way to do this is to take a big bite. If you say "OW!" then you should probably cool it down. If you say "OW!" after taking a second bite, WHY DID YOU DO THAT? Cool the dang thing off!!!)

Step 2) Open the moon roof to your vehicle (the one that's managed to be a secret up to this point).

Step 3) Grab the bag of said taquitos and using your right hand (because you need to steer the car with your left hand), lift the bag out of the vehicle, exposing it to the wind.

Step 4) Drive in excess of 60 mph down Kellogg.

Step 5) After 2 minutes (give or take) ingest taquitos.

Note: If you don't have a moon roof, I'm sure rolling down a window will suffice as well.

The Tres Amigos go to Tres Amigos! (And Some Other Stuff...)

Last night, I got to hang out with Justin and Libby. It was super duper awesome.

Ryan has left us and gone to Denver... for the weekend... and so there was a slight emptiness to the hangieoutie times.


(I gave Rynie "Jon Foreman Hair". So much win.)

We decided to go to Tres Amigos to eat (which was quite the feat, I might add). It's amazing ANY decisions get made with us. I mean seriously, we're like the buzzards on "The Jungle Book". (See video for reference if you cannot remember.)


Yep. That's us. Fo shizz.

ANYWAY. We go to Tres Amigos and when they ask how many, we say "three" (with a hint of sadness, I might add) and they start to take us to a table. We think they're going to seat us in one of the regular booths, right? Wrong. The guy just keeps walking! I was glad Justin was ahead of me, because we got led through rooms and around corners we didn't even know existed. It was like a horror movie. (And if there is anyone you ever want to be trapped in a horror movie with, it's Justin. The guy's an EXPERT!)

We were escorted through this weird, dark bar with a weird lighting fixture, and were FINALLY seated in this weird little room in this weird little round booth. I felt like we were about to be a part of a mafia meeting. It was that eerie. (Just ask Justin and Libby!) I had a feeling we were going to be offered an offer that we couldn't refuse!)

After all the weirdness, and we ordered our food, the waiter totally ignored Justin and I. It was funny... to Libby. (Just kidding, it made us ALL giggle.) He must've had the hots for Lady Libby. I don't know. I bet if she had asked for my guacamole, it would've been delivered POST HASTE and uber fresh. He might have even gone to CA and picked the BEST avacados and then lovingly stirred in fresh lime juice, garlic, and cilantro.

For me, not so much. He couldn't even throw a spoonful into a bowl.

During one of our conversations while I was waiting for my guacamole, Justin informed me of a shirt that was almost even more magical than "Stan". (Stan is a shirt that Justin and his friend Kasey share. It's kinda like "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants", but it's not. Stan is dark blue in color and has powerful jungle cats all over him. Stan is epic, and I'm not exaggerating. Just ask anyone who's met him.)

Immediately upon hearing of said shirt, I blurted out "DID IT HAVE UNICORNS?!?!?!?" Justin politely laughed and informed me that it had an indian chief on it and from a distance, it looked like said chief was seated upon a unicorn. But he was not. And it was a disappointment.

So I told Justin "I will draw a drawing of a indian chief seated upon a unicorn for Kasey."

Kasey, I don't know you (yet), but I drew this for you. And put it on my blog. I hope you enjoy it.


I do not have powerful drawing skills, but what I do have, I use in an attempt to put a smile on peoples faces. I hope it worked.

I finally DID get my guacamole, but by then all the chips were gone, so I didn't really have anything to eat it with. (Getting a refil on chips was ABSOLUTELY out of the question. Justin barely got a refil on his Diet Pepsi.) I may or may not have eaten tiny nibbles of the precious guac with my fork. Don't judge.

On the drive home (which is a whopping 3 blocks, I might add), Justin serenaded Libby and I with "On Top of the World" by the Carpenters. Boy has GOLDEN vocal chords, y'all. GOLDEN. And he busts them out to comfort friends.

There is no better use of vocal chords, folks.

Libby got an encore after cheesecake when he decided to sing "Thank U" by Alanis Morissette to her. Very powerful stuff. I got it on video, but it was dark. So I drew a picture.



There are more pictures I could attempt to draw of his interpretive dancing and his questionable perch upon my lap, but I'll stop there.

Bottom line: We had fun. And we miss Rynie.

COME HOME SOON, BUDDY!!!!

Um... Yeah. That just happened.

Liz and I went to Applebees for lunch today. We sat in the lovely Miss Ashlie Eubanks' section. (For realz, if y'all go there, ask for her section. And tip her well. I'm a fan.)

As we were sitting there talking, I looked up and noticed this guy at the bar kept looking at me while he was drinking his beer. He was a Harley guy. You know the type.

You know how sometimes there are girls who are all "OMG, that guy is soooooooo looking at me." and you're like "Um... no. They are not." This was not one of those cases. Every time I looked up, he was just hardcore STARING at me.

Aunt Cathy came out of the kitchen and came over to talk to us and I was like "Seriously. That one guy. He keeps staring at me." Ashlie goes "Every time you come in here, SOMEONE'S creepin'." So we laughed and continued on. Ashlie and Cathy both went back to work and Liz and I got to eatin'.

A few minutes later, we heard "Excuse me, ladies?"


All I remember is just saying "Well, thank you!" a couple of times.

What's the appropriate response to that?

"I wish you were younger, clean shaven, and not so starey." or how about "Are you sure it's not the BEER talking?"

I turned to Liz after he left and said "Is my face as red as my hair?". She assured me it was not.

I'm taking it as a compliment, not a random creepfest. YAY FOR RANDOM COMPLIMENTS!!!

Ok, sorry I wrote two blogs today.

As you were.