Sleep Deprivation and Friendship

"It's a beautiful day! The birds are swaying, the trees are singing..."

Dylan Moran, I luff yew.

I think I'm extra loopy due to lack of sleep. But I'll take loopy over depressio any day.

Well, I was semi loopy yesterday. (Aka, just being me...how I used to be...all the time.) But today will probably be the loopiest.

I went to see "Tron: Legacy" last night. In 3D. At the new Imax in Wichita. With Willie. And Nate. And Bryce. And Josh. (I did the same thing with "Avatar" last year, except it was with Willie. And Matthew. And Josh M. And Soma. My life has made zero progression in a year...)

It was a lovely movie. Visually stunning. Lots of action. I'm not gonna lie though, Michael Sheen creeped me the hail out. I was all "Oh! I hear Michael Sh... OH MY GAWSH!!! NOT OKAY!!!"

Dear Michael Sheen,
In the future, please play nice characters that won't freak me out in Imax. Thank you in advance.
Much Love,
Me

We went to the 10 o'clock showing, so I didn't get back home until 2:30. I'm a tad on the tired side, but it was worth it. I love going to Wichita and hanging out. Some days I wish I lived down there.... but sometimes I'm glad there's a 60 mile buffer.

OK. Now, onto something substantial instead of me blabbing about friends and movies.

Lyle just brought me a chocolate long john! Awww!

OK, now onto something substantial.

This morning, I was still wrestling with leftover hurts and I was reminded of this scripture:

"God is not a man, one given to lies,
and not a son of man changing his mind.
Does he speak and not do what he says?
Does he promise and not come through?" Numbers 23:19 (The Message)

Maybe I'm the only person who does this, but I seem to lump God in with any person of authority, or any guy that has ever hurt me. I tend to think He's going to do what they've done to me.

He's gonna say one thing, and then do another.

He's gonna use me and then throw me away.

He's gonna get what He wants, keep me around and humor me for a bit, then say "See ya!"

He's gonna say things and make fun of me like He's embarrassed of me.

Why do I think this? There are absolutely no scriptures to substantiate these claims.

Maybe it's because the Bible presents God as a friend. (Proverbs 18:24 b) We've all had friends who've screwed us over, so we put Him in that boat.

But He's not like that.

He's our friend, but He's also our Creator. The One who gave us life. Our Savior. Our King.

Where's the line between "Hey, God, ol' buddy ol' pal!" and falling flat on your face in awe of Him?

I tend to err on the side of "Hey! Jesus! Let's go to do this together!!!" and I don't put enough importance on loving Him as He wants to be loved, and giving Him the praise He deserves. He is a jealous God.

I don't know about anyone else, but I hate being jealous. But I am. I can fly into a rage over someone mentioning someone else in a text message. (OK, maybe not a rage. But I can feel pretty crappy about myself.) It's dumb. I know. But if I react like that, I can only imagine how God feels with us. We are the worst of friends and children.

We say we're gonna do one thing, and do another.

We use Him and then throw Him away.

We get what we want out of Him, keep Him around, humor Him a bit, then say "See ya!"

We say things and make fun of Him like we're embarrassed of Him.

We expect all good things from Him, but we give Him nothing good in return.

I think I've got some work to do.