Hearts!!! (And Love vs. Attatchment)

Hey! Look everybody!!! Katie's talking about the "L" word again! ("I'm in lesbians with you", dear reader. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, go watch "Scott Pilgrim vs. the World". NOW!)

Anyhoot.

This morning as I was getting ready to make my return journey to the McPherson place (you know, that one little town where I live) I heard a song.

It was a song that I hadn't heard in a very long time. It was...wait for it...a song that always makes me tear up. Now, I realize that this blog is doing nothing but succeeding in making me seem like a big cry baby. I really don't cry that often. REALLY. There are just certain songs that bring back certain memories. (It's the ex factor, I'm pretty sure. I'm not still in love with him, but I still have moments where I feel attached. There IS a difference! And they don't happen often. Bleh. DIGGING A HOLE.)

Again with the anyhoot.

(I'm over my ex until certain songs come on. Hole is still being dug...)

The song was "Dreaming With a Broken Heart" by John Mayer. As a general rule, I am NOT a John Mayer fan, but something about this song...just gets to me. My eyes started watering immediately, and I had to hide it because


And that's when I started praying and simultaneously yelling at myself. It was like "Lord, please make me stop crying." "KATIE! SHUUUTTT UPPPP!!!! Why are tears coming out of your face? SUCK IT UP!!!"

See, the truth of the matter is that my heart isn't BROKEN. It's more like Butthurt. (Anyone remember "Laguna Beach"? Anyone?)

This would've made a WAAAY better song:


I mean, who WOULDN'T buy that album? I know I would! (I guess "Broken Heart" had a better ring to it. Whatev.)

Here's an illustration that explains the "Broken Heart" vs "Butthurt Heart" phenomenon.




I was praying MORE about my butthurt heart on the way home and I realized that my heart isn't even really butthurt. And if it was, the only reason it would be so is because I wasn't getting my way and my life isn't going EXACTLY the way I want it to. Big whoop. Most times, you want one thing one day and another thing the next day anyway, so yeah.

Not getting your way doesn't equal a broken heart.

It doesn't equal a butthurt heart.

Does it equal a SPOILED heart, maybe?


Bleh. Not a fan of that one. (But it's probably closest to what I've got.)

Just because you don't get what you want, or your life isn't going how you expected it to, it doesn't mean that your heart has to be broken, or butthurt, or even spoiled.

Sometimes God just takes you down an unexpected path.

And sometimes you have NO IDEA what He's doing with it... or how long you're going to be on that path, but He is still most certainly in control.

(And for the record, I really AM unattached to my ex person now. Go me!)