Been fighting things that I can't see
Like voices coming from the inside of me and
Like doing things I find hard to believe in
Am I myself or am I dreaming?
I've been awake for an hour or so
Checking for a pulse but I just don't know
Am I a man when I feel like a ghost?
The stranger in the mirror is wearing my clothes
No I'm not alright
I know that I'm not right
A steering wheel don't mean you can drive
A warm body don't mean I'm alive
No I'm not alright
I know that I'm not right
Feels like I travel but I never arrive
I want to thrive not just survive
I come alive when I hear you singing
But lately I haven't been hearing a thing and
I get the feeling that I'm in between
A machine and a man who only looks like me
I try and hide it and not let it show
But deep down inside me I just don't know
Am I a man when I feel like a hoax?
The stranger in the mirror is wearing my clothes
No I'm not alright
I know that I'm not right
A steering wheel don't mean you can drive
A warm body don't mean I'm alive
No I'm not alright
I know that I'm not right
Feels like I travel but I never arrive
I want to thrive not just survive
I'm always close but I'm never enough
I'm always in like but I'm never in love
I get so down but I won't give up
I get slowed down but I won't give up
Been fighting things that I can't see
Like voices coming from the inside of me and
Like doing things I find hard to believe in
Am I myself or am I dreaming?
No I'm not alright
I know that I'm not right
A steering wheel don't mean you can drive
A warm body don't mean I'm alive
No I'm not alright
I know that I'm not right
Feel like I travel but I never arrive
I want to thrive not just survive
I want to thrive not just survive
Switchfoot, get out of my brain.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Monday, December 12, 2011
Saturday, December 10, 2011
I Don't Want This.
Death is a weird thing.
No one wants it to happen, but it will find us all of us eventually.
Most of us plan to keep it at bay for a very long time and do everything in our power to avoid it. Some of us look forward to it and some of us hasten it ourselves.
Either way, it's an unpleasant subject.
As I write this, my Papaw is laying in his bed in his room in a nursing home in Valley Mills, Texas. He is dying.
He's 90 years old and he's lived a good life. He's ready to go home, but I'm selfish. I'm not ready for him to leave.
When we went down to see him this last August, I actually cried after leaving him. I was pretty sure it was the last time I'd ever see him.
I have no regrets. I told him I loved him and gave him a big hug before we left. (I remember when I was a little girl and I'd get ready to go to bed, he'd always say "Come give me some sugar." when he wanted a goodnight hug and kiss.)
I just don't want this to happen. I know I can't change it, but it hurts my heart.
I haven't told anyone just how serious it is yet. (Well, I told Justin because he was my +1 to my work Christmas party. HE IS MY HERO, btw.)
Death is one thing people don't know how to deal with. It makes people uncomfortable.
I mean, you don't just call people up and say "Sooooo...my Papaw's dying."
It either looks like you're crying out for attention. "PLEASE! PITY ME! I HAVE A FAMILY MEMBER WHO IS ON THE EDGE OF DEATH!"
Or you get a story from someone "Oh, yeah. That happened to my great aunt's cousin's mother in-law. She stubbed her toe and we thought she was going to die."
Or you get no reaction at all along with a change of subject.
Tonight at dinner, Justin could tell I was thinking about it and he just reached over and touched my shoulder and said "I'm sorry."
That was the nicest thing anyone could've done.
No stories. No avoiding. Just a recognition of an event. No fake show of emotion. Just real.
That's all we need. Maybe even a hug.
It's a weird in-between right now. He hasn't passed, but he is going to. We don't know when, we just know it's coming.
It's the worst wait ever.
I don't want this.
No one wants it to happen, but it will find us all of us eventually.
Most of us plan to keep it at bay for a very long time and do everything in our power to avoid it. Some of us look forward to it and some of us hasten it ourselves.
Either way, it's an unpleasant subject.
As I write this, my Papaw is laying in his bed in his room in a nursing home in Valley Mills, Texas. He is dying.
He's 90 years old and he's lived a good life. He's ready to go home, but I'm selfish. I'm not ready for him to leave.
When we went down to see him this last August, I actually cried after leaving him. I was pretty sure it was the last time I'd ever see him.
I have no regrets. I told him I loved him and gave him a big hug before we left. (I remember when I was a little girl and I'd get ready to go to bed, he'd always say "Come give me some sugar." when he wanted a goodnight hug and kiss.)
I just don't want this to happen. I know I can't change it, but it hurts my heart.
I haven't told anyone just how serious it is yet. (Well, I told Justin because he was my +1 to my work Christmas party. HE IS MY HERO, btw.)
Death is one thing people don't know how to deal with. It makes people uncomfortable.
I mean, you don't just call people up and say "Sooooo...my Papaw's dying."
It either looks like you're crying out for attention. "PLEASE! PITY ME! I HAVE A FAMILY MEMBER WHO IS ON THE EDGE OF DEATH!"
Or you get a story from someone "Oh, yeah. That happened to my great aunt's cousin's mother in-law. She stubbed her toe and we thought she was going to die."
Or you get no reaction at all along with a change of subject.
Tonight at dinner, Justin could tell I was thinking about it and he just reached over and touched my shoulder and said "I'm sorry."
That was the nicest thing anyone could've done.
No stories. No avoiding. Just a recognition of an event. No fake show of emotion. Just real.
That's all we need. Maybe even a hug.
It's a weird in-between right now. He hasn't passed, but he is going to. We don't know when, we just know it's coming.
It's the worst wait ever.
I don't want this.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
A Little Bit of Christmas Magic.
Today, I'm going to do something that I do not ordinarily do. AT ALL.
I am going to share a page from my private, written journal. Don't get used to it. A girl has to keep SOME things to herself, but I am feeling overwhelmingly sappy today for a reason unbeknownst to me. (The names have been changed to protect the innocent.)
Thursday, Dec. 8, 2011
My eyes welled up with tears three times today.
1) A little disabled boy that I remember from when I worked at the eye Dr. came into the store today. He must've been about 3-4 yrs old back then, so he's probably 8-9 now. Then, I didn't even know if he'd ever walk, but today he was purshing a shopping cart that had crutches in it. His name is Tim.
Today was our Christmas Open House and we had Santa stop by.
When Tim saw Santa, he just took off as fast as he could and ran into Santa's arms with one of the biggest hugs I've ever seen. A hug which Santa returned with just as much enthusiasm. Man. The look on Tim's face. It was absolutely priceless. I can't even put into words how wonderful it was.
2) The Salvation Army donation collecters were singing "We Three Kings" as I walked to my car to go home for the night. It was beautiful, and the moon was just starting to peek out from behind some clouds.
3) "Where Are You, Christmas?" was on the radio for my drive home. I've felt like Charlie Brown lately.
I just want some Christmas magic back. Today, I tasted a bit. I want even more.
(Greedy, I know.)
I am going to share a page from my private, written journal. Don't get used to it. A girl has to keep SOME things to herself, but I am feeling overwhelmingly sappy today for a reason unbeknownst to me. (The names have been changed to protect the innocent.)
Thursday, Dec. 8, 2011
My eyes welled up with tears three times today.
1) A little disabled boy that I remember from when I worked at the eye Dr. came into the store today. He must've been about 3-4 yrs old back then, so he's probably 8-9 now. Then, I didn't even know if he'd ever walk, but today he was purshing a shopping cart that had crutches in it. His name is Tim.
Today was our Christmas Open House and we had Santa stop by.
When Tim saw Santa, he just took off as fast as he could and ran into Santa's arms with one of the biggest hugs I've ever seen. A hug which Santa returned with just as much enthusiasm. Man. The look on Tim's face. It was absolutely priceless. I can't even put into words how wonderful it was.
2) The Salvation Army donation collecters were singing "We Three Kings" as I walked to my car to go home for the night. It was beautiful, and the moon was just starting to peek out from behind some clouds.
3) "Where Are You, Christmas?" was on the radio for my drive home. I've felt like Charlie Brown lately.
I just want some Christmas magic back. Today, I tasted a bit. I want even more.
(Greedy, I know.)
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Ok, Fine.
My Mom won.
I deleted my POF account.
Bumzors.
I'll just have to find Frank's long lost twin face to face, somehow.
(My final tally was 47 messages.)
I deleted my POF account.
Bumzors.
I'll just have to find Frank's long lost twin face to face, somehow.
(My final tally was 47 messages.)
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Adventures in Plenty of Fish!!
Ok. So, I always say I'm not going to do online dating. And yes, I have no intention of doing so...
But I have a stomach bug and Kristin's gone and I'm bored.
Enter Plentyoffish.com
As a single person who is sometimes saddened by their "single" status, I decided to see what's out there.
Answer? Not a whole lot. (Translation: "There are lots of guys to choose from, but I am not impressed so far.") Frank Iero's long lost twin is nowhere to be found.
I also decided to conduct a test. I've tried eharmony a few times. I even tried POF one time before. I poured my heart out(ish) into my profiles and selecting just the right pictures.
This time, I wrote four poorly constructed sentences and just put up one picture.
(This picture.)
So obviously, I was prepared for some interesting responses.
Within (literally) sixty seconds, I already had two inbox messages. (I'm twenty minutes into the experiment and I have six messages, which is already three times the amount I had any other time.) The subject lines tally as follows: one "Hello", three "Hi"s, one "hi" and one "no bs".
OOH! Two more "hi"s! BAZINGA!!
What do these lovely gentlemen have to say?
Um.... ok. Let's take some time out to cover some ground rules.
1) Capitalization and punctuation. (Not to mention proper use of the space bar.)
2) Really? You're going to call me a smartass right out of the gate?
3) I don't respond to demands to "hit me up".
4) You look like one of the guys that made a remark about my butt when I was at work this morning. AUTOMATIC DISQUALIFICATION!!
Nope. That's my cat.
(OOH! TWO CHAT REQUESTS! SCORE!!)
We will not get along. And it has nothing to do with your former location. It has EVERYTHING to do with the LSU cap on your head.
Did you not read the "ROLL TIDE ROLL!!" on my profile? Clearly this is not meant to be.
So. Many. Things. To. Say.
(OOOH! Another "Hi"!!)
And sometimes the messages aren't so terrible...But the profiles are.
Three paragraphs about how nice guys finish last and all girls are bishes? Oh dear. Also, you have a large gun.
Annnnd close match.
Le Sigh.
(Is it bad to disqualify someone based on their username? Yeah... that's probably bad.)
TO BE CONTINUED...
But I have a stomach bug and Kristin's gone and I'm bored.
Enter Plentyoffish.com
As a single person who is sometimes saddened by their "single" status, I decided to see what's out there.
Answer? Not a whole lot. (Translation: "There are lots of guys to choose from, but I am not impressed so far.") Frank Iero's long lost twin is nowhere to be found.
I also decided to conduct a test. I've tried eharmony a few times. I even tried POF one time before. I poured my heart out(ish) into my profiles and selecting just the right pictures.
This time, I wrote four poorly constructed sentences and just put up one picture.
(This picture.)
So obviously, I was prepared for some interesting responses.
Within (literally) sixty seconds, I already had two inbox messages. (I'm twenty minutes into the experiment and I have six messages, which is already three times the amount I had any other time.) The subject lines tally as follows: one "Hello", three "Hi"s, one "hi" and one "no bs".
OOH! Two more "hi"s! BAZINGA!!
What do these lovely gentlemen have to say?
Um.... ok. Let's take some time out to cover some ground rules.
1) Capitalization and punctuation. (Not to mention proper use of the space bar.)
2) Really? You're going to call me a smartass right out of the gate?
3) I don't respond to demands to "hit me up".
4) You look like one of the guys that made a remark about my butt when I was at work this morning. AUTOMATIC DISQUALIFICATION!!
Nope. That's my cat.
(OOH! TWO CHAT REQUESTS! SCORE!!)
We will not get along. And it has nothing to do with your former location. It has EVERYTHING to do with the LSU cap on your head.
Did you not read the "ROLL TIDE ROLL!!" on my profile? Clearly this is not meant to be.
So. Many. Things. To. Say.
(OOOH! Another "Hi"!!)
And sometimes the messages aren't so terrible...But the profiles are.
Three paragraphs about how nice guys finish last and all girls are bishes? Oh dear. Also, you have a large gun.
Annnnd close match.
Le Sigh.
(Is it bad to disqualify someone based on their username? Yeah... that's probably bad.)
TO BE CONTINUED...
Sunday, November 27, 2011
For the Holidays, You Can't Beat Home Sweet Home
I am at "home" at my Mom and Dad's. I've been here since Wednesday night (it's Sunday morning) and so far, no one has murdered anyone.
GO TEAM!!
Actually, we all get along pretty well. (You may remember that Bill and I were homeschooled. Nothing makes a family learn to get along like being together 24/7 for a bazillion years.)
This year has been kind of a different year. I mean in terms of my own healing time. You would think 2 years after a divorce it'd all be out of your system but I guess like all gaping wounds, different peoples is different.
My crash course in getting over things started about a week ago when I saw my ex in-laws as I was working. Yikes. I didn't have time to hit the deck, so I was a nice person and waved. Ex-mom waved back but I don't think they were very happy to see me.
< sarcasm > Obviously, I was crushed. < /end sarcasm >
I saw them AGAIN as they were checking out on Wednesday but this time they adopted the "Let's just ignore the fact that the whore of Babylon even exists" approach.
What's in the past is in the past. And I'll be chicken fried if I let 5 years of my life ruin the present and future part of my life. I can't go around wondering what could have happened. Lots of things COULD have happened. But they DIDN'T. And I HIGHLY doubt things would've gotten BETTER as time went on.
But when you're a girl and it was your "first love" (whatever the heck that means) you tend to try to sugar coat things.
Let's get real, shall we? (Out with the sugar, in with the arsenic.)
K. Did it.
This year, instead of moping and wondering what my ex was up to, I LIVED MY LIFE.
I soaked up the family I neglected for years.
We ate food.
We played games.
I learned valuable information about Alabama's 2012 schedule.
(Michigan is the ex's favorite team)
I left my computer unattended.
Oh yeah, and this happened:
It was a fantastic weekend and so many fun times were had. I can't wait to see what happens next.
Hope everyone's Thanksgiving was truly splendid!!!
Go in excellence and safety.
Love,
Me
GO TEAM!!
Actually, we all get along pretty well. (You may remember that Bill and I were homeschooled. Nothing makes a family learn to get along like being together 24/7 for a bazillion years.)
This year has been kind of a different year. I mean in terms of my own healing time. You would think 2 years after a divorce it'd all be out of your system but I guess like all gaping wounds, different peoples is different.
My crash course in getting over things started about a week ago when I saw my ex in-laws as I was working. Yikes. I didn't have time to hit the deck, so I was a nice person and waved. Ex-mom waved back but I don't think they were very happy to see me.
< sarcasm > Obviously, I was crushed. < /end sarcasm >
I saw them AGAIN as they were checking out on Wednesday but this time they adopted the "Let's just ignore the fact that the whore of Babylon even exists" approach.
What's in the past is in the past. And I'll be chicken fried if I let 5 years of my life ruin the present and future part of my life. I can't go around wondering what could have happened. Lots of things COULD have happened. But they DIDN'T. And I HIGHLY doubt things would've gotten BETTER as time went on.
But when you're a girl and it was your "first love" (whatever the heck that means) you tend to try to sugar coat things.
Let's get real, shall we? (Out with the sugar, in with the arsenic.)
K. Did it.
This year, instead of moping and wondering what my ex was up to, I LIVED MY LIFE.
I soaked up the family I neglected for years.
We ate food.
We played games.
I learned valuable information about Alabama's 2012 schedule.
(Michigan is the ex's favorite team)
I left my computer unattended.
Oh yeah, and this happened:
It was a fantastic weekend and so many fun times were had. I can't wait to see what happens next.
Hope everyone's Thanksgiving was truly splendid!!!
Go in excellence and safety.
Love,
Me
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Sleepless Musings
Ok. Seriously.
Where's my single, Jesus lovin', madly in love with me version of Frank Iero?
I grow impatient.
I also grow more aware of my need for sleep. Right now.
I promise a Thanksgiving recap and some drawings at a more convenient time. Say, tomorrow maybe.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Love,
Me
Where's my single, Jesus lovin', madly in love with me version of Frank Iero?
I grow impatient.
I also grow more aware of my need for sleep. Right now.
I promise a Thanksgiving recap and some drawings at a more convenient time. Say, tomorrow maybe.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Love,
Me
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
We Interrupt This Program....
Ok. Seriously.
I haven't found any time to vlog lately and I'm running out of steam on that front.
The obvious solution?
Back to writing with the occasional illustration.
This will not doubt please the majority of the masses!
That being said, I need to go to work now. But I will return with something hopefully delightful.
Love,
Me
I haven't found any time to vlog lately and I'm running out of steam on that front.
The obvious solution?
Back to writing with the occasional illustration.
This will not doubt please the majority of the masses!
That being said, I need to go to work now. But I will return with something hopefully delightful.
Love,
Me
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Work Attire...
Without looking totally boring and not very "me"?
P.S. Those dresses were originally $9/ea. I SAVED $32 DOLLARS, PEOPLE!! BARGAINNNNNNNN!!!
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Thursday, October 27, 2011
I HAVE NOT ABANDONED THEE!!
I just got a JOB!!
Well, first thing last week, I painted a mural type thing and Scott & Cathy's. THEN I got a job.
I started my JOB this week, and between the painting and interviews last week, and the insane hours I've been keeping at my NEW JOB this week, I have had ZERO TIME to update.
Job, job, job. I have a job. (Not to be confused with the Bible's Job. I'm not covered in head to toe sores and no one has told me to "Curse God and die.")
Sorry, kids. I'll try to do better. I miss your faces.
Love,
Me
Well, first thing last week, I painted a mural type thing and Scott & Cathy's. THEN I got a job.
I started my JOB this week, and between the painting and interviews last week, and the insane hours I've been keeping at my NEW JOB this week, I have had ZERO TIME to update.
Job, job, job. I have a job. (Not to be confused with the Bible's Job. I'm not covered in head to toe sores and no one has told me to "Curse God and die.")
Sorry, kids. I'll try to do better. I miss your faces.
Love,
Me
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Saturday, October 15, 2011
DREAM POST!!
These are usually popular posts! I hadn't had one of these for awhile, but I haven't had any INSANE dreams to talk about. I did last night!!
Friday, October 14, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
How to Get Ready For a Date
(Wise words from a wise man. If you're a cool kid, you'll get it. If you aren't, Click here. Watch it. Then you too shall be cool.)
Today, I'm going on a date. Well, I guess you'd call it more of a "Dinner and talky time" (so as to not make the other party uncomfortable), but for the sake of simplicity, I'ma call it a "date". (Also, I'm going to use more commas.)
Ryan and Libby have been referring to it as a "Jate" because of the name of my date/jate guy. Buuuuuutt... I'ma keep that under wraps until further notice. Anywhooo...
(There are many sides in this war. The battle is HUGE.)
(Told you my hair would end up in a ponytail.)
It's 11:21(AM) and you don't go out until 5:00(PM).
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Fantastic Happenings!!
So...video SUCKS today. Computer hates me. Power through.
What should I draw for tomorrow? What kind of story do you guys want to hear?
Monday, October 10, 2011
Happy Day To Y'All!!
I really do have the best brother. :)
Also, Ani, let me know if you need the stowaways back.
Added Bonus!! ("Hey Ben")
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Experiment Over
In other news: Please, people. Stop making weird Photoshopped pictures involving Gerard Way. Eye luff him and it's weirding me out.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
HELP ME HELP A STRANGER!!
In this episode: I try to do something nice for a stranger (for a friend) and I go into great detail about Wessy's cuteness.
My email address in case you missed it: katiemae85@gmail.com
Also, a shameless self-promoting link: Cyclops Hat!!
(I DO know a Luke, but there is NO WAY that is his iPod.)
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
Boo. Hiss.
I'm leeeavin on a jet plane...
Apparently, my computer's had it as well. Come on, lil buddy guy! I need you to hold on. Why you tryin to die on me? (Sorry the video is so freezy.)
YOU GUISE!!
I'm in NORTH CAROLINA!! And I'm meeting NEW PEOPLE!! And I'm LOVING THEM!!
And I have to fly back tomorrow.
Boo.
Obviously, once I return home, there will be a BUTT TON of updates and vlogs and ramblings on and on and on.
Take a few days to sit in prayerful reflection and preparation in anticipation of this. (That's lots of -ations!)
Love,
Out of Kansas Katie
And I have to fly back tomorrow.
Boo.
Obviously, once I return home, there will be a BUTT TON of updates and vlogs and ramblings on and on and on.
Take a few days to sit in prayerful reflection and preparation in anticipation of this. (That's lots of -ations!)
Love,
Out of Kansas Katie
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Minor Setback
Think positive. Think positive. Think posi.......aw crap. (I was doing good til I checked the mail.)
MY ETSY STORE!!! <--- Go look around!
MY ETSY STORE!!! <--- Go look around!
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
No Blogs...
Yet.
I'm working like a crazed ape trying to get my Etsy up and running.
(I applied for a bank job here in town, but in the meantime, I'm going to do what I've always wanted to do and launch an Etsy store!)
I haven't been crying since Friday, and I'm not depressed. Just busy and excited to see what might come of this! WOOT!
Wish me luck!
I'm working like a crazed ape trying to get my Etsy up and running.
(I applied for a bank job here in town, but in the meantime, I'm going to do what I've always wanted to do and launch an Etsy store!)
I haven't been crying since Friday, and I'm not depressed. Just busy and excited to see what might come of this! WOOT!
Wish me luck!
Friday, September 16, 2011
Well THAT Sucked...
If I had known this was coming, I wouldn't have bought those shoes...
Edit: I keep getting asked "What did you do?!?!?!" I asked my boss and she informed me that I did nothing. It just came down to one of us had to go and I wasn't as techy as the boys. There is no bad blood. I'm pissed at the circumstances, but NOT pissed at my former boss and co-workers.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Halloweeny Thoughts.
If you think this vlog is all over the place, you should try having a REAL conversation with me.*
*It's basically the same way.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Scary. (Not Really)
Not really scary, just thought Cordy was really cute at the end. I'll blog something awesome tomorrow.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Friday, September 2, 2011
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Soooo Much Impatient.
In all seriousness, please pray for my friend. She is ready to pop this little girl out!
Outtakes?
If you watched my video last night, you noticed that it was my FOURTH ATTEMPT AT THE SAME VIDEO!!!
I deleted the third one in my tired stupor, and then I realized that I really DID like it minus a few points so I retrieved it from the recycle bin. It had a few good parts.
So I cut it up. Here go!
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Oh, Honeys.
This vlog is extremely girlie. And not for the faint of heart... or boys. YOU. HAVE. BEEN. WARNED.
Libby's Blog
Staci's Blog
The Blog Libby Read
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
Whoa. Just WHOA.
OK. I'm not usually a "get in the middle of things" kid, but seriously.
I see so many people lately trying to tackle others with their idea of truth.
"MY WAY IS RIGHT!!!! DON'T YOU SEE!!!!?!?!?! YOU'RE GONNA DIEEEEEEE IF YOU DON'T JOIN MY TEAM!!!!"
Whoa. Just whoa.
A) Can we cut the drama?
B) Can we get over ourselves?
Now, I'm assuming that some of you have read my blog enough to know that I am a born-again Christian. (And I know that some of you are rolling your eyes just reading the term "born-again". That's fine.) I prefer the term "Christ follower". I call Jesus my Savior and I try to do what He would have me do.
That does NOT MEAN that I am going to go around beating people over the head with something that I have found to be helpful in my life.
Yes. I love Jesus.
Yes. I believe He's the way.
But I also believe that He's someone you have to find on your own and not in anyone elses timing.
I do not pretend to be judge, jury, and executioner for people who do not believe as I do. Lord knows I have messed up so many times.
I see so many so-called Christians walking around being Judgy McJudgertons lately and it makes me so sad.
Jesus came to teach us love by example. Even people who haven't been to Sunday School a day in their life can probably recite "For God so LOVED the world..."
What part of "love" are we not getting here?
What people need in their lives is between them and God.
Sure, I have friends who don't believe EXACTLY how I do. Does that make them any less of a person than me? Nope. Does it mean that if they grew up in church and then took another route that their going to hell? I believe "nope" on that one too. I mean seriously. I know PLENTY of people who go to church every Sunday and call themselves "saved" who are every inch as "bad" as someone who's never been in their life. (I've been there.)
What makes me even more sad is that there are some in the church who would have people like this leave the church and never come back like it's some exclusive country club that can't be seen with a blemish.
Ever heard of the Pharisees? Anyone? Jesus wasn't a fan.
Christians who believe this way have obviously not read the book that their whole faith is based upon. (I mean seriously. It's messed up. And I love it.)
Some go around preaching grace and damnation at the same time like it's theirs to give either way.
It's not.
So seriously, people. Chill out. Live and let live.
Love.
Edited to add: I'm not saying that you shouldn't talk to people about Jesus. I'm just saying that if there are people in your life who are uncomfortable or closed to Him, don't continue to push them away by beating them over the head.
I see so many people lately trying to tackle others with their idea of truth.
"MY WAY IS RIGHT!!!! DON'T YOU SEE!!!!?!?!?! YOU'RE GONNA DIEEEEEEE IF YOU DON'T JOIN MY TEAM!!!!"
Whoa. Just whoa.
A) Can we cut the drama?
B) Can we get over ourselves?
Now, I'm assuming that some of you have read my blog enough to know that I am a born-again Christian. (And I know that some of you are rolling your eyes just reading the term "born-again". That's fine.) I prefer the term "Christ follower". I call Jesus my Savior and I try to do what He would have me do.
That does NOT MEAN that I am going to go around beating people over the head with something that I have found to be helpful in my life.
Yes. I love Jesus.
Yes. I believe He's the way.
But I also believe that He's someone you have to find on your own and not in anyone elses timing.
I do not pretend to be judge, jury, and executioner for people who do not believe as I do. Lord knows I have messed up so many times.
I see so many so-called Christians walking around being Judgy McJudgertons lately and it makes me so sad.
Jesus came to teach us love by example. Even people who haven't been to Sunday School a day in their life can probably recite "For God so LOVED the world..."
What part of "love" are we not getting here?
What people need in their lives is between them and God.
Sure, I have friends who don't believe EXACTLY how I do. Does that make them any less of a person than me? Nope. Does it mean that if they grew up in church and then took another route that their going to hell? I believe "nope" on that one too. I mean seriously. I know PLENTY of people who go to church every Sunday and call themselves "saved" who are every inch as "bad" as someone who's never been in their life. (I've been there.)
What makes me even more sad is that there are some in the church who would have people like this leave the church and never come back like it's some exclusive country club that can't be seen with a blemish.
Ever heard of the Pharisees? Anyone? Jesus wasn't a fan.
Christians who believe this way have obviously not read the book that their whole faith is based upon. (I mean seriously. It's messed up. And I love it.)
Some go around preaching grace and damnation at the same time like it's theirs to give either way.
It's not.
So seriously, people. Chill out. Live and let live.
Love.
Edited to add: I'm not saying that you shouldn't talk to people about Jesus. I'm just saying that if there are people in your life who are uncomfortable or closed to Him, don't continue to push them away by beating them over the head.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Sick.
Aaaannnndddd then my computer decided that it didn't have enough space to continue with the video. So I'ma have to go OLD SCHOOL and write it all down.
I was at Libby's house (which wasn't really her house, but another place) with a random dude. He kept following me around the house and kept wanting to cuddle. I was trying to get rid of him because PDAs are just plain awkward. That and I didnae like him. BUT I didn't want to be rude. So I just sat there.
I guess Staci got fed up because she got off the couch and walked over to where we were sitting on the floor. She whispers very loudly in the guys ear "Look. I KNOW you want to have sex with Katie, but this is just inappropriate." I heard it and spun around to stare him down.
"You WHAT?!!?!??!?!" I glared at him.
"I'm sorry. I... I..." he stuttered.
"You were just LEAVING, right?" I charged.
He left the room. (Come to find out he just went into one of the bedrooms and chilled with Ryan, Josh, and the other guys.)
I went over and sat next to Libby.
"I'm sorry about that." I told her.
"It's fine." she said, rather distantly.
I looked over to see what movie she was watching. It was "Cinderella" and she was watching it on a special Disney flat screen TV. She turned to me with a serious look on her face and then I woke up.
The next dream, I was living in the basement of a museum. I got to decorate my space with all kinds of old stuff! It was grand.
In another dream, I went to a small town in Kansas and I was sitting on some bleachers with a bunch of people, waiting for their "Grand Parade" to happen. Some Megan Fox looking chick showed up and I guess I had a problem with her because I was pissed that she sat next to me. And then more people that I didn't want to be around showed up. I was wishing for an out when the parade started.
It was one float.
A SPRINT float with half of the town on it.
I stood up in the bleachers and started singing and it turned into a musical. It made Megan Fox Lady mad and she huffed off. Then I woke up.
In another dream, I went wedding dress shopping. And everything fit and looked grand, but the people in the store said everything looked gross. I was wearing something that I WOULD NEVER EVEN FIT IN IN REAL LIFE and I looked LIKE A PRINCESS. Then I woke up.
But by far, the weirdest dream I had was that I had a dad who wasn't even my dad and he remarried a not nice woman. I was in a glee club and all the kids lived in a GIANT HOUSE with all of us. I was trying to tell my dad guy how evil this woman was and how she was making my life a living hell but he wouldn't listen to me. I locked myself away in the attic of the house. There were 7 rooms in the attic and I locked every room. He got to me any way and gave me an ornate bedframe to make up for the fact that my new step-mother was a raging you know what. Also, my step-grandpa decided that my dog (not Cordy) was sick and that we were going to eat him for dinner.
This part really pisses me off.
They let it happen. I walk into the kitchen, and the dog is standing up and they're slicing him. Like a ham. It sounds like ham. AND THE DOG IS STILL ALIVE! The dog is blindfolded and not making a sound and I can't make a move towards the dog to get him away!!!
It makes me sick to even remember it.
And then I woke up still sick.
I don't ever want another dream like that again in my life.
I don't even know how to end this. Bleh. I'm going back to bed.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Eleven on Tuesday: Music Edition
I TOTES stole this from Libby. But in my defense, I told her I was going to, so that makes it OK.
1. Do you listen to the radio in your car? If so, what type of station do you like?
It depends on how long I'm going to be in the car. If I'm just heading to work, it's usually on KLOVE or 93.1 or The Brew. It's been The Brew mostly these days because every time I get in my car, they're playing "Owner of a Lonely Heart", and anyone who knows me knows I LOVE me some Yes. (SOMETIMES, I listen to country. But not very often.) When I go to Wichita on the weekends, I put my MP3 player on random and I have everything from The Monkees to Metallica on that baby. I AM AN ECLECTIC PERSONALITY!!!
2. What is the best concert you have ever attended?
Well, the concert I liked the best and had THE MOST FUN at was the I Heard a Lion show a few weeks back, but I don't know if that counts? (I am waaay looking forward to future Royal shows as well.) If IHAL doesn't count, then I'm going Switchfoot. JP took me one year when they were at the Kansas State Fair. I still have the tickets. It was delicious.
3. What is the most embarrassing concert you have ever attended?
*Whispers* Nickelback. But don't tell nobody. My friends HAAATE Nickelback.
4. If you could have the singing voice of anyone in the world, who would it be?
Well, mine isn't bad, I'm just bashful. If I HAD to pick someone else, I'm going to be super duper non-creative and go Adele. Or Grace Helbig. Girl's got some PIPES! (Tee hee.) OOOOOHHH! No. Wait. Joanne Hogg. Definitely Joanne Hogg. Hands down.
5. You’re auditioning for American Idol. What song do you sing?
This is actually a question that I have given some thought to (which is just SILLY). I think I'd have to go with "Someone Like You" by Adele or "Cosmic Love" by Florence and The Machine or "Paris (Ooh La La)" by Grace Potter and The Nocturnals. (If we ever get a Kareoke machine, the last two will be my numbah one jamz.) Don't laugh. I can legit sing these songs. I just elect not to. (I'm a shy girl!!!)
6. If your previous weekend had its own soundtrack, what would be a few of the songs?
Oh dear. I have no idea. I'll have to say "Sewn" by The Feeling (Libby was there for that one.), and "As We Go Along" by The Monkees. OH! And "Turning Tables" by Adele. The first and last of these songs would have you think I am unhappy with a boy or something. OH! "Electric Feel" by MGMT. OH! J/k. I'm done.
7. Most annoying television show theme song ever:
"7th Heaven". I have nightmares about that song.
8. Are you and your significant other music-compatible?
Well, seeing as I do not have a significant other at this time, I'm going with "Yes". Because my imaginary boyfriend and I are compatible in EVERY. WAY.
9. A song that brings me back to middle school:
I wasn't allowed to listen to mainstream radio when I was growing up, so I'd have to say (again) anything by The Monkees. (Geez, I am a broken record. An unchanging person.)
10. A song that brings me back to high school:
I was 17 when I started driving and I could *GASP* listen to "SECULAR MUSIC"!!! (I had to punch the radio in my '87 Chevy Nova to get it to work, but it did!!!) I have two songs that take me back: "The Middle" by Jimmy Eat World and "All My Life" by Foo Fighters. On the self-mutilation front of my high school years, it was all about "When I'm Gone" by Three Doors Down. *Shudder*
11. A guilty pleasure song:
"Livin' on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi. (As a rule, I hate Bon Jovi.)
BONUS QUESTION THAT I JUST MADE UP!!!
12. Song you crank up and sing along EVERY TIME you hear it:
"Sunday Bloody Sunday" by U2.
1. Do you listen to the radio in your car? If so, what type of station do you like?
It depends on how long I'm going to be in the car. If I'm just heading to work, it's usually on KLOVE or 93.1 or The Brew. It's been The Brew mostly these days because every time I get in my car, they're playing "Owner of a Lonely Heart", and anyone who knows me knows I LOVE me some Yes. (SOMETIMES, I listen to country. But not very often.) When I go to Wichita on the weekends, I put my MP3 player on random and I have everything from The Monkees to Metallica on that baby. I AM AN ECLECTIC PERSONALITY!!!
2. What is the best concert you have ever attended?
Well, the concert I liked the best and had THE MOST FUN at was the I Heard a Lion show a few weeks back, but I don't know if that counts? (I am waaay looking forward to future Royal shows as well.) If IHAL doesn't count, then I'm going Switchfoot. JP took me one year when they were at the Kansas State Fair. I still have the tickets. It was delicious.
3. What is the most embarrassing concert you have ever attended?
*Whispers* Nickelback. But don't tell nobody. My friends HAAATE Nickelback.
4. If you could have the singing voice of anyone in the world, who would it be?
Well, mine isn't bad, I'm just bashful. If I HAD to pick someone else, I'm going to be super duper non-creative and go Adele. Or Grace Helbig. Girl's got some PIPES! (Tee hee.) OOOOOHHH! No. Wait. Joanne Hogg. Definitely Joanne Hogg. Hands down.
5. You’re auditioning for American Idol. What song do you sing?
This is actually a question that I have given some thought to (which is just SILLY). I think I'd have to go with "Someone Like You" by Adele or "Cosmic Love" by Florence and The Machine or "Paris (Ooh La La)" by Grace Potter and The Nocturnals. (If we ever get a Kareoke machine, the last two will be my numbah one jamz.) Don't laugh. I can legit sing these songs. I just elect not to. (I'm a shy girl!!!)
6. If your previous weekend had its own soundtrack, what would be a few of the songs?
Oh dear. I have no idea. I'll have to say "Sewn" by The Feeling (Libby was there for that one.), and "As We Go Along" by The Monkees. OH! And "Turning Tables" by Adele. The first and last of these songs would have you think I am unhappy with a boy or something. OH! "Electric Feel" by MGMT. OH! J/k. I'm done.
7. Most annoying television show theme song ever:
"7th Heaven". I have nightmares about that song.
8. Are you and your significant other music-compatible?
Well, seeing as I do not have a significant other at this time, I'm going with "Yes". Because my imaginary boyfriend and I are compatible in EVERY. WAY.
9. A song that brings me back to middle school:
I wasn't allowed to listen to mainstream radio when I was growing up, so I'd have to say (again) anything by The Monkees. (Geez, I am a broken record. An unchanging person.)
10. A song that brings me back to high school:
I was 17 when I started driving and I could *GASP* listen to "SECULAR MUSIC"!!! (I had to punch the radio in my '87 Chevy Nova to get it to work, but it did!!!) I have two songs that take me back: "The Middle" by Jimmy Eat World and "All My Life" by Foo Fighters. On the self-mutilation front of my high school years, it was all about "When I'm Gone" by Three Doors Down. *Shudder*
11. A guilty pleasure song:
"Livin' on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi. (As a rule, I hate Bon Jovi.)
BONUS QUESTION THAT I JUST MADE UP!!!
12. Song you crank up and sing along EVERY TIME you hear it:
"Sunday Bloody Sunday" by U2.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Newz.
Hey everyone! Just because there aren't any new videos on the blog, that doesn't mean that there aren't any!!!
Just check out my YouTube channel for the new ones! (There's only two.)
Since I have tumblr now, there are some that will be more geared toward my tumblr. (And there will be some here that don't apply to tumblr.)
The only way to catch them ALL is to keep up with me on YouTube!!! (Cause I'm SURE you're all DYING to watch.)
:P
Ok, as you were!
Just check out my YouTube channel for the new ones! (There's only two.)
Since I have tumblr now, there are some that will be more geared toward my tumblr. (And there will be some here that don't apply to tumblr.)
The only way to catch them ALL is to keep up with me on YouTube!!! (Cause I'm SURE you're all DYING to watch.)
:P
Ok, as you were!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
"Lovely Advice"
I saw this on a Monkee Blog that I follow. (Don't be hatin'.) I thought it was indeed "Lovely Advice". Genius.
Health:
1.Drink plenty of water.
2.Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3.Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4.Live with the 3 E’s - Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5.Play more games.
6.Read more books than you did in 2010.
7.Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
8.Sleep for 7 hours.
9.Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.
Personality:
1.Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
2.Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
3.Don’t over do. Keep your limits.
4.Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5.Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
6.Dream more while you are awake.
7.Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
8.Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
9.Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.
10.Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
11.No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
12.Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
13.Smile and laugh more.
14.You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
Society:
1.Call your family often.
2.Each day give something good to others.
3.Forgive everyone for everything.
4.Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
5.Try to make at least three people smile each day.
6.What other people think of you is none of your business.
7.Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
Life:
1.Do the right thing!
2.Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
3.However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
4. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
5.The best is yet to come.
6.Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.
There now. Don't you feel better already?
Health:
1.Drink plenty of water.
2.Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3.Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4.Live with the 3 E’s - Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5.Play more games.
6.Read more books than you did in 2010.
7.Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
8.Sleep for 7 hours.
9.Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.
Personality:
1.Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
2.Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
3.Don’t over do. Keep your limits.
4.Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5.Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
6.Dream more while you are awake.
7.Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
8.Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
9.Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.
10.Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
11.No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
12.Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
13.Smile and laugh more.
14.You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
Society:
1.Call your family often.
2.Each day give something good to others.
3.Forgive everyone for everything.
4.Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
5.Try to make at least three people smile each day.
6.What other people think of you is none of your business.
7.Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
Life:
1.Do the right thing!
2.Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
3.However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
4. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
5.The best is yet to come.
6.Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.
There now. Don't you feel better already?
Monday, August 15, 2011
This Happened.
Yesterday, Libby, Ryan, and I went to Sonic for "Happy Hour".
We'd been sitting at one of their outdoor tables for maybe half an hour. I glanced at Libby.
There was something on her head.
Upon further inspection, it was a spider. Not only a spider, but a spider with JAZZ HANDS! (I think I heard it singing, too.)
Ryan saw it at the same time.
I attempted to flick the spider off of my friend. I failed.
Ryan then swooped in and didn't fail. He saved the day.
THE END.
(Kudos to Libby for not freaking out about spiders and lunging friends.)
We'd been sitting at one of their outdoor tables for maybe half an hour. I glanced at Libby.
There was something on her head.
Upon further inspection, it was a spider. Not only a spider, but a spider with JAZZ HANDS! (I think I heard it singing, too.)
Ryan saw it at the same time.
I attempted to flick the spider off of my friend. I failed.
Ryan then swooped in and didn't fail. He saved the day.
THE END.
(Kudos to Libby for not freaking out about spiders and lunging friends.)
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Good Morning.
My favorite part is the awkward thumbs up at the end.
The occasional airplane sounding sound is my fan. Sorry about that. Also, what should I refer to this thing as? My brain obviously can't differentiate between vlog and blog.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Peace
You know how I said that yesterday was a big confusion? Well, it came to a head this morning. Don't know what my deal is, but I just feel so overwhelmed. I know that this is a FEELING and that it will SUBSIDE. No big. I'm not going through anything new or unique to the human race.
But I still felt weighed down.
I was freshly out of the shower and doing my hair when I heard the first chord of the song. I was in trouble.
If there's one song in the world that can singlehandedly break me down and build me up at the same time, it's "Peace" by Rich Mullins.
(I couldn't find a video that didn't have lyrics or a slideshow, so I picked the one with a slideshow of the man himself.)
Every time I hear that opening piano, I lose it. EVERY TIME. Tears. Bam. In my eyes.
There are two reasons for this:
1) "A Liturgy, A Legacy, and A Ragamuffin Band" was a CD that my Papa gave me the last time I ever saw him. I last saw him about a week before he died. The newness of that CD hadn't worn off yet by the time he passed away, so we listened to it on the countless trips to Wichita and back as we were trying to get funeral arrangements made, etc.
When I hear that piano start, I am immediately transported back in time. I'm 11 years old, sitting in the "way back" seat in our old grey Caravan and I've just lost one of my favorite people in the world.
I cry tears of sadness.
2) The song has such a nice meaning and the words are just woven together so sweetly.
I cry tears of relief.
It also made me tear up a bit because my cousin, Brant, is being confirmed into the Catholic church this morning. (The whole title of the song is "Peace (A Communion Blessing from St. Joseph's Square.) They aren't tears of sadness. I love my cousin very very much. We come from a long line of Protestants, and his decision has been a polarizing subject in the family.
Here's where I stand: I love my cousin. I know he's very excited about this and I am excited for him.
Nuff said.
Lots of emotions today, but they'll pass.
Emotions aren't always BAD. They can be annoying at times, but they're not bad.
"May peace rain down from heaven
Like little pieces of the sky
Little keepers of the promise
Falling on these souls
This drought has dried
In His blood and in His body
In the bread and in this wine
Peace to you
Peace of Christ to you."
P.S. After I finished writing this, I found out the most incredible thing ever. But I can't talk about it yet.
But I still felt weighed down.
I was freshly out of the shower and doing my hair when I heard the first chord of the song. I was in trouble.
If there's one song in the world that can singlehandedly break me down and build me up at the same time, it's "Peace" by Rich Mullins.
(I couldn't find a video that didn't have lyrics or a slideshow, so I picked the one with a slideshow of the man himself.)
Every time I hear that opening piano, I lose it. EVERY TIME. Tears. Bam. In my eyes.
There are two reasons for this:
1) "A Liturgy, A Legacy, and A Ragamuffin Band" was a CD that my Papa gave me the last time I ever saw him. I last saw him about a week before he died. The newness of that CD hadn't worn off yet by the time he passed away, so we listened to it on the countless trips to Wichita and back as we were trying to get funeral arrangements made, etc.
When I hear that piano start, I am immediately transported back in time. I'm 11 years old, sitting in the "way back" seat in our old grey Caravan and I've just lost one of my favorite people in the world.
I cry tears of sadness.
2) The song has such a nice meaning and the words are just woven together so sweetly.
I cry tears of relief.
It also made me tear up a bit because my cousin, Brant, is being confirmed into the Catholic church this morning. (The whole title of the song is "Peace (A Communion Blessing from St. Joseph's Square.) They aren't tears of sadness. I love my cousin very very much. We come from a long line of Protestants, and his decision has been a polarizing subject in the family.
Here's where I stand: I love my cousin. I know he's very excited about this and I am excited for him.
Nuff said.
Lots of emotions today, but they'll pass.
Emotions aren't always BAD. They can be annoying at times, but they're not bad.
"May peace rain down from heaven
Like little pieces of the sky
Little keepers of the promise
Falling on these souls
This drought has dried
In His blood and in His body
In the bread and in this wine
Peace to you
Peace of Christ to you."
P.S. After I finished writing this, I found out the most incredible thing ever. But I can't talk about it yet.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Friday, August 5, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Be Ye Nice.
(Here's the story from The Daily Mail that I mentioned: "I'm not pregnant, I've just had my dinner!")
It's not nice to ask if a lady is pregnant for two reasons:
1) It makes her think she's fat.
2) Maybe she wants a baby more than anything in the world and you asking her is a constant reminder that she is NOT pregnant, and therefore a giant fail.
Just sayin.
(Also, I LOVE that YouTube suggests "Self Esteem" by The Offspring after my video. Excellent choice.)
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Lemme Just Tell You...
There are some things that I put on my blog that I don't link to Facebook.
There are things that I put on my YouTube channel that I don't put on my blog.
Now you know.
There are things that I put on my YouTube channel that I don't put on my blog.
Now you know.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Adventures in Medication!
It became apparent to me this morning, after my shower, that despite my best efforts this past week, it was time to surrender and take my heart meds.
I have Acute Atrial and Sinus Tachycardia.
I try not to talk about it much because it makes me sound like a weenie. Most times, it doesn't bother me, but if I'm under a lot of stress or I'm around people who are stressed, or if work is stressful (you get the picture), it can act up. I'm SUPPOSED to take my meds every day, but they turn me into a human version of Eeyore, so I try to avoid them at all costs.
I felt like I needed them this weekend and yesterday, but I didn't take them. After our wrog (walk/run/jog) last night, I was like "You're a stupid head. TAKE YOUR MEDS ALREADY!!!" and I still didn't.
This morning, I snapped. I took it.
I mean, the obvious solution (and the one my Dr. gave me) is just to avoid stress. But that's not entirely possible. (I mean seriously, do Drs. live in some crazy dream world that we can't access because we aren't Drs.?)
Here are some examples of what happens when I take my meds. I'll start at the beginning.
Here's my heart:
Here are my meds:
Here's how they make me feel:
So yeah, if you see me today, I will most likely just stare or laugh at you.
You've been warned.
I have Acute Atrial and Sinus Tachycardia.
I try not to talk about it much because it makes me sound like a weenie. Most times, it doesn't bother me, but if I'm under a lot of stress or I'm around people who are stressed, or if work is stressful (you get the picture), it can act up. I'm SUPPOSED to take my meds every day, but they turn me into a human version of Eeyore, so I try to avoid them at all costs.
I felt like I needed them this weekend and yesterday, but I didn't take them. After our wrog (walk/run/jog) last night, I was like "You're a stupid head. TAKE YOUR MEDS ALREADY!!!" and I still didn't.
This morning, I snapped. I took it.
I mean, the obvious solution (and the one my Dr. gave me) is just to avoid stress. But that's not entirely possible. (I mean seriously, do Drs. live in some crazy dream world that we can't access because we aren't Drs.?)
Here are some examples of what happens when I take my meds. I'll start at the beginning.
Here's my heart:
Here are my meds:
Here's how they make me feel:
So yeah, if you see me today, I will most likely just stare or laugh at you.
You've been warned.
Monday, August 1, 2011
God (and My Mom) Think I'm Special!!!
I know I sound harsh in this. My bad. Not saying you should just forget people who try to change you, but it's ok not to listen to them sometimes. Unless they're telling you to stop being a heroin addict. You should probably listen then...
Dream Post!!!
(This is a post with DRAWINGS for Nate and WORDS for Kristin.)
I had one of the most insane, disgusting dreams last night.
I could tell that I had fallen asleep with CMT on because the dream started out with me riding motorcycles with Jason Aldean.
Yeah...
We arrived at our destination and I needed to use the little girls room. (Anyone who knows me will not be shocked by this.) When I went in there, it was suddenly my bathroom from home, but with one exception.
THERE WERE BUGS EVERYWHERE!!!! HUGE BUGS FROM HELL!!!!
And there was a whole box of them.
And then there were these guys too.
And I squashed them with the lighting speed and agility of a puma.
And it was really gross 'cause they were SOOO big and they didn't squish right away.
The bugs were regenerating at an alarming rate.
All I could do is scream "JASON ALDEAN!!!! JASON ALDEAN!!!!"
But I guess he couldn't hear me.
And then I woke up to the soothing sound of chainsaws chopping down trees in our backyard.
If only my subconscious has worked one of those chainsaws into my dream...
THE END.
I had one of the most insane, disgusting dreams last night.
I could tell that I had fallen asleep with CMT on because the dream started out with me riding motorcycles with Jason Aldean.
Yeah...
We arrived at our destination and I needed to use the little girls room. (Anyone who knows me will not be shocked by this.) When I went in there, it was suddenly my bathroom from home, but with one exception.
THERE WERE BUGS EVERYWHERE!!!! HUGE BUGS FROM HELL!!!!
And there was a whole box of them.
And then there were these guys too.
And I squashed them with the lighting speed and agility of a puma.
And it was really gross 'cause they were SOOO big and they didn't squish right away.
The bugs were regenerating at an alarming rate.
All I could do is scream "JASON ALDEAN!!!! JASON ALDEAN!!!!"
But I guess he couldn't hear me.
And then I woke up to the soothing sound of chainsaws chopping down trees in our backyard.
If only my subconscious has worked one of those chainsaws into my dream...
THE END.
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