You know how I said that yesterday was a big confusion? Well, it came to a head this morning. Don't know what my deal is, but I just feel so overwhelmed. I know that this is a FEELING and that it will SUBSIDE. No big. I'm not going through anything new or unique to the human race.
But I still felt weighed down.
I was freshly out of the shower and doing my hair when I heard the first chord of the song. I was in trouble.
If there's one song in the world that can singlehandedly break me down and build me up at the same time, it's "Peace" by Rich Mullins.
(I couldn't find a video that didn't have lyrics or a slideshow, so I picked the one with a slideshow of the man himself.)
Every time I hear that opening piano, I lose it. EVERY TIME. Tears. Bam. In my eyes.
There are two reasons for this:
1) "A Liturgy, A Legacy, and A Ragamuffin Band" was a CD that my Papa gave me the last time I ever saw him. I last saw him about a week before he died. The newness of that CD hadn't worn off yet by the time he passed away, so we listened to it on the countless trips to Wichita and back as we were trying to get funeral arrangements made, etc.
When I hear that piano start, I am immediately transported back in time. I'm 11 years old, sitting in the "way back" seat in our old grey Caravan and I've just lost one of my favorite people in the world.
I cry tears of sadness.
2) The song has such a nice meaning and the words are just woven together so sweetly.
I cry tears of relief.
It also made me tear up a bit because my cousin, Brant, is being confirmed into the Catholic church this morning. (The whole title of the song is "Peace (A Communion Blessing from St. Joseph's Square.) They aren't tears of sadness. I love my cousin very very much. We come from a long line of Protestants, and his decision has been a polarizing subject in the family.
Here's where I stand: I love my cousin. I know he's very excited about this and I am excited for him.
Lots of emotions today, but they'll pass.
Emotions aren't always BAD. They can be annoying at times, but they're not bad.
"May peace rain down from heaven
Like little pieces of the sky
Little keepers of the promise
Falling on these souls
This drought has dried
In His blood and in His body
In the bread and in this wine
Peace to you
Peace of Christ to you."
P.S. After I finished writing this, I found out the most incredible thing ever. But I can't talk about it yet.